


It's (you're) different

by Drawinganimemaster



Series: In Every Universe [2]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drunk Adora (She-Ra), F/F, F/M, Glimmer and Catra brotp, Halloween, Jealous Adora (She-Ra), Multi, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Catra (She-Ra), Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:20:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 39,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27047113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drawinganimemaster/pseuds/Drawinganimemaster
Summary: Something hot bubbles in her throat, she’s afraid it’ll come tumbling out if she opens her mouth so she keeps it cradled shut but only barely. Her jaw shakes, teeth clattering as if an impossible chill has crept up on her but the windows are shut, in fact there’s fog on the mirror—it must be her. She’s cold from the inside and it’s leaking out; something nasty, something cruel, something green.It’s her revelation and it’s tainted.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Series: In Every Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909423
Comments: 51
Kudos: 276





	1. Prologue

Prologue

0

“You clean up surprisingly well.”

It should make Catra want to claw the redheads pretty emerald eyes out but with all the fakeness in high school it’s nice to hear something genuine if not a bit ill mannered, so she laughs, rich and deep, before saying “way to charm a girl, Cathy.”

“What? No punch to the face? Who knew someone from the Horde could have such good manners?”

Another snipe, less subtle this time, about the hole in the ground Catra and the select few here at Etheria High live in. Etheria is overall a wonderful State with people who wave in passing, and neighborhoods where fools leave their homes unlocked without the fear of misdeed. But, just over the rusty tracks, a couple miles out from the old telephone pole that got struck by lightning a couple years back during a hectic storm, lies the Horde. Catra has never had a way to describe the Horde until Junior year when her class read _The Great Gatsby_. In the novel, the main character described the Valley of Ashes as—a _grotesque_ place. The Horde, right over the tracks from paradise, grotesque, and tough just like the people who live there.

Catra doesn’t know her parents, her memory is foggy so she doesn’t know much about her past just that she’s been in foster care for as long as she can recall. Right now, she lives in a foster house with a couple decent kids (a few teasing and pranks here and there but all in good sport) and a god-awful woman, Miss Weaver, who has them just to cash her checks. Weaver does not physically abuse them, but the verbal assaults build up. It’s not too bad; Catra and the other kids all stick together, their own dysfunctional family of sorts. They’ve got it all planned out, graduate from Etheria High and then go to college far away from the ashes.

“What can I say?” Catra’s heard worse than anything Cathy can throw at her, so she takes the high road saying, “I’m full of surprises.”

Cathy laughs, a scratchy sound that rattles down Catra’s back unpleasantly. “I bet, now take a hint and come dance with me.”

Catra lets herself be dragged into the sea of sweaty adolescents until Cathy stops them somewhere in the middle so everyone can see her dress under the cheap fluorescent lights. Catra doesn’t have much experience dancing, just the line-dancing they learn in gym class, so she awkwardly goes to hold Cathy’s waist (like she’s seen in movies) when her hands are slapped away.

“Not there, you’ll wrinkle my bow.” Cathy says, correcting her by putting Catra’s arms around the mid-drift where her dress slits in the back to show off scandalous skin.

Catra flushes at the warmth beneath her fingertips. “Oh, okay.”

Catherine, or Cathy for short, lives in the nicest part of Etheria and has never had to, and probably never will, work for anything in her entire life. She’s the head cheerleader, captain of every club that matters, and is the main trend setter. When Catra came out she was met with scolding looks, and towels pulled tighter in changing rooms, but when Cathy came out, she was met with the utmost support—they even gave her a damn story in the school paper.

Catra doesn’t know why Cathy asked her to the prom; she thought it was a prank at first, or a charity case for her college application, but she and Cathy had some solid interactions in middle school so Catra gave her the benefit of the doubt. When she told Kyle (the black sheep in their foster family) about whether she should go with Cathy to the prom or not their conversation went like this:

_“Catherine Fields asked you to the prom. No shit?”_

_Catra nods, “no shit.”_

_Kyle looks impressed, his eyes wide and skin flushed from the cold of December. “The prom is like months away; she must’ve really thought about this.”_

_“What do you think? She could be pranking me, but she seemed cool from the couple times I’ve spoken with her.”_

_Kyle leans his upper body against the rail; his brown locks flutter in the wind, showing more of his face in a way that makes him look younger than he is. For a moment Catra sees the little boy who blindly followed her and Adora recklessly down the halls on short legs, desperate to keep up. Now fast forward, a couple years, and Kyle is a couple inches taller than her with a voice deeper than that old familiar squeak._

_“Catherine might be stuck up and she might not have much of a personality,” Kyle decides “but she’ll put out.”_

And now here she is, awkwardly dancing with one of the most popular girls in school. Everyone thinks they know Catra’s motive for this date (if it can be called such) but their options are far from the truth.

The song picks up a little but it’s still something slow to dance to, they adjust to the pace with a sloppy turn that makes Cathy burst into laughter. Catra can’t help but smile too; this prom is a shit show but it’s less so with good company much like high school.

Catra’s a couple inches taller than Cathy so it’s not hard to look over her head and take everyone in. She means to do a quick sweep but somehow, she always finds Adora in even the murkiest of crowds. At this point their emotions might as well be intertwined; they used to joke when they were younger about being soulmates but not in the way Catra realized she desired over time.

Adora, her best friend, the blonde who’s wearing a simple (perfect) burgundy dress, black sandals (because she hates high heels), with that ponytail she’ll regret wearing everyday when she’s older and her hair is thinning. Adora who came to the prom with Tucker Maddison, head quarterback, captain of the football team, complete and utter asshole.

If her hair standing on end wasn’t the first sign, Adora’s twisted face and frantic eyes is a pretty good clue. But she’s faster than Catra can be from across the room; suddenly Adora’s pushes Tucker so hard he goes flying back into the bowl of red punch that does his white tailored suit no favors. A boisterous sound erupts above the music, everyone turns to see the sight; to Tucker drenched in red, scrambling to stand but slipping on the juice pooling around him on the gym floor, to Adora, redder than Tucker’s stained suit, dashing out the back exit. A couple guys on the football team whistle and tease Tucker for his misfortune, a couple of his “friends” taking out their phones to commemorate the event.

“That’s what he gets,” Cathy says with a snort.

Cathy and Tucker went together a couple times, and everyone knows she’s still bitter about the way things ended. She’d dated a couple of Tucker’s girlfriends as payback, a perfect blow to his pride and reputation.

Catra’s hands fall from the skin that once warmed the tips of her fingers—tempting her. “I’m gonna check and see if she’s good.”

Cathy blinks, brows furrowing like she’s trying to solve a math problem. “Seriously?”

“She’s my best friend, Cathy.”

“You won’t get another chance.”

Catra doesn’t know what Cathy thought was going to happen tonight but she plays along if it’ll get her out of the gym faster, “I’m sorry.”

Cathy’s voice is biting and not in the playful way it was earlier, “she better be worth it” but Catra is already halfway to the exit.

The hot air slaps her in the face but not as hard as seeing Adora’s red stained face and glossy eyes on the brink of tears. She didn’t get far, just a couple feet away from the brick of gym, near the bleachers, but the way she’s breathing makes it seem like she’s been running for a while. Catra knows Adora’s had a couple panic attacks in the past so she doesn’t jump right away as not to startle her.

“Hey, Adora” it lacks the usual taunt and comes out shaky. “Are you…” she stops and decides to go a different route “I can’t believe you drop kicked Tucker like that, he’s never getting those stains out you know.”

Adora laughs in between her heavy breathing.

Catra takes a couple steps closer saying, “I’m serious, I heard his friends talking about renting too so he’s pretty much screwed. Probably out a couple hundred, he’ll have to pick up extra shifts at the fish market he works at over the summer to pay it off. The seagulls get pretty bad around that time too, so he’ll be picking feathers out of his hair every day after work”

“Good,” Adora says “he deserves worse.”

Catra stops in front of her. “What happened?”

“…he’s a jerk—”

“Tell me.”

Adora doesn’t meet her eyes and it’s a little concerning.

“Him and his friends are jerks, they only care about one thing and Tucker thought he could get it. I told him to back off, but he didn’t listen, so I took care of it myself.”

Catra feels her nails biting into her palms, “that prick. I’ll get Lonnie and Rogelio and we’ll slash his tires and—”

“They’re already on it.” Adora interrupts her rant, “I tried to talk them out of it, but Lonnie texted me as soon as I left the gym. They’re egging his house too, planting stink bombs in his locker, the works.”

“Oh,” Catra deflates at being seemingly steps behind “then…why didn’t they come get you?”

“They figured you would.”

Catra blushes and hopes the streetlights aren’t telling. “Oh.”

Adora takes Catra’s hands, prying her fingers apart so she can sooth the crescents her sharper nails made upon impact. Adora doesn’t chastise her anymore like when they were kids, just thumbs at the marks with enough pressure to make Catra bite back a hiss—a punishment in its own way.

Adora mumbles, “but I wasn’t sure you’d follow me. I thought you’d stay with Catherine.”

“You looked like you needed some help.” Catra says, taking her hands back so she can slide up beside Adora against the fence until their shoulders are brushing. “And I didn’t want Tucker’s friends to follow you out, you know how bad that could go.”

Adora groans. “I don’t know why I agreed to go with him.”

“Me either, he thinks with his dick I could’ve told you that.”

 _If you’d asked_ , Catra thinks bitterly.

Adora bristles and shoots back, “like your date is any better.”

“Cathy’s cool.”

“She walks around like this,” Adora shoots her chest forward, mimicking Cathy.

Catra does her best to keep her eyes up. “There’s nothing wrong with flaunting. She’s hot. Who cares?”

Adora looks away with a huff, “she’s so stuck up, always looking down at people from the Horde. What do you even see in her?”

“You’re overreacting, it’s just a stupid dance, Adora, one night, it’s not like I’m planning on marrying her.”

“Did you come with her because you knew she’d go all the way?” Adora asks suddenly.

Catra flinches. “I came to prom with Cathy because she had the courage to _ask_ me, idiot. How could you even say that? You know me, I’m not shallow like your date. Cathy seemed cool so I went with her, she at least has more brain cells than the block her you came with.” She scoffs, “I left her alone to check on you but if you’re gonna act like this then maybe I’ll just—"

Before she can bolt Adora pulls her close by the ends of her loose tie until their noses are brushing. Her hair stands on end, stomach twisting the tedious way it does lately when Adora’s close.

“Wait, I’m sorry, stay. I just…Tucker has me in a bad mood and I’m taking it out on you and that’s not fair.” Adora bumps their foreheads together whispering, “this night was supposed to be different…it should’ve been different.”

Catra is quiet for a moment. Her hands fall into place, at home, around Adora’s waist pulling her so close she can feel their curves rub together. Adora doesn’t complain about Catra putting wrinkles in her dress like Cathy, instead she drapes her arms around Catra’s shoulder and pulls her in closer until no space remains.

In the bubble they’ve created Catra feels brave enough to confess:

“I don’t know how you envisioned tonight going but…” she’s sure her face is alight with flame, so she shuts her eyes, the cowards’ way out “…this feels pretty perfect to me.”

A hand, rough with callous from years of varying sports, cups her jaw. She opens her eyes and is blinded by Adora’s smile. Catra thinks she sees blue eyes glance at her lips, her heart stutters when Adora pulls her in, but there’s no kiss—Adora hugs her like she’s always done, cradling her head and tracing intricate patterns below her back with her free hand.

_Of course, why would she ever kiss you._

Catra submits to fate, playing the role of the best friend. She sinks into the hug, tightening her arms around Adora’s waist and encases them in a low rumble as they sway beneath the watchful stars just like they’ve always done.


	2. Part I - A

(Part I-A)

1

It’s one of the cooler nights in August when everyone meets up at one of Glimmer’s estates to have a get together celebrating the last week of summer before their classes at Brightmoon University (BU) start up again. Because most of them are trying to milk the rest of their hours at their designated summer jobs in the final stretch of the season, Glimmer decides to have the get together this Saturday night. And so, without the burden of responsibility that usually looms over into the following morning, Adora graciously takes another jello-shot; they decorate the kitchen table in an array of color, yielding great reward—it reminds Adora of the goldfish game at the carnival that comes around every season. Usually she’d take some green-tea shots or a beer, something that’ll give her a pleasant buzz, but tonight also marks the start of pre-season for basketball. And if she wants to win a national championship then she can’t get plastered at every party she goes to.

“You made it! I thought you had work?”

“Can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Adora recognizes the drawl of Catra’s voice as she gives Glimmer a hard time at the door. It’s all in good fun, in fact, Glimmer is ready with a playful jab of her own; eyes glassy from whatever’s in her solo cup.

“I would if I could,” Glimmer quips.

Catra, always rebuttal on the tip of her tongue, shoots back with ease “you know you love me” and then playfully pinches the skin peeking out from under Glimmer’s tight white tee.

“Babe stop,” Glimmer plays along and swats at Catra’s drifting fingers “not in public. Remember what happened last time?”

“In my defense, I did not see the camera.”

Adora slips into their bubble asking, “should I be worried?”

If she hadn’t stepped in when she did then they would’ve kept up with their banter all night and Adora selfishly wants Catra to herself before their semester gets hectic.

Catra looks surprised to see her. “Hey Adora, I didn’t think you’d be here.”

Glimmer huffs. “She would’ve stayed at the apartment all night if Bow and I hadn’t dragged her out. Seriously Adora, having a few drinks won’t mess up the start of your lacrosse season.”

“Basketball.” Catra and Adora say simultaneously.

Catra looks a little flushed when they look at her, curious. “Basketball…that’s why she’s not drinking. Lacrosse doesn’t start until the spring.”

“Adora, you play like seven different sports. How am I supposed to keep track? But you” Glimmer says, pointing to Catra “better be drinking tonight. I know track doesn’t start until October.”

Catra shakes her head. “Can’t, it’s still pre-season for me too. I’ve been training since July and I’m not messing that up with one drink. If I could have a cup of Hennessey right now I would, believe me.”

“You two are the worst. Now I have to find new drinking buddies who—oh! Memerista, are those fireball shots?”

Mermista shouts from across the pool where she’s lounging on a lawn chair next to Perfuma. “Yeah, Seahawk’s special recipe!”

Glimmer scrambles to head over. “I’ve gotta try some, last time we ran out, I’ll catch up with you guys later. Frosta! Don’t even think about trying—” her voice trails off as she runs over to berate the very underaged minor.

They’re left alone in the kitchen with the majority outside lounging by the pool ready for those legendary fireball shots.

“So,” Adora starts.

“Very eloquent. I see your money is being well spent at BU.”

Adora laughs. “What? It’s hard to have good conversation when I’m sober.”

“Explains a lot.”

“Can you not say something sarcastic every minute?”

Catra opens her mouth and closes it just as quickly.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Whatever,” Catra groans “come on, let’s go be boringly sober by the pool. At least this way we can be entertained.”

They head out to the pool with the rest of their friends to watch Seahawk make his signature drink. But what’s more fun is watching everyone’s reaction; Adora’s told the drink goes down smooth but after a few minutes people start bumping into things and slurring their words. Bow has three, and he’s usually good with drinking (the guy who makes sure no one does anything stupid) but he’s climbing the shed trying to dive off the roof into the pool for a “awesome Tiktok”. Perfuma stops him before anything major happens and brings him into the kitchen for a much needed glass of water.

“Hey Lonnie—wait,” Catra has to ask “did you take a fireball shot?”

Lonnie shakes her head, splashing them with a couple droplets of Chlorine that’s still in her hair from the pool. “Would I be standing if I did?”

“Good point.”

“Kyle wasn’t so lucky.” Lonnie nods over to where her boyfriend is running around in his boxers with Rogelio close behind with his pants.

Adora shudders the same time Catra says “my eyes!”

“Not looking forward to _that_ when we get back to the dorm.” Lonnie sighs. “What about you guys? Anything good happened this summer?”

Adora shakes her head. “Just work and more work, some training here and there. The usual.”

Lonnie boos her before turning to Catra expectant. “I know _you_ got into something crazy this summer.”

Adora frowns at the quick exchange. “Did something happen?”

Catra says “nothing happened.”

Lonnie frowns. “Really? I set you up and you blow it. Twice.”

“She set you up?”

Catra scratches her neck looking over Adora’s shoulder instead of her eyes. “It didn’t work out.”

“It’s not that you just...you never told me about her.”

“She wasn’t worth mentioning.”

“Hey, Pearl is still my friend.” Lonnie objects.

“She was weird. Barely got through one dinner before I blocked her number. She went off on a tangent about why no one should eat seafood when I said I was _thinking_ about getting the shrimp and then when I order pot roast—“

Adora makes a face. “You hate pot roast.”

“—she goes and orders the shrimp!”

Lonnie laughs. “Okay maybe I didn’t know her that well.”

“You think.” Catra turns to Adora saying, “she thinks.”

“I’m sorry okay? The next girl I set you up with won’t be weird.”

Catra groans. “I’m not interested in dating right now. I just want to keep my head down and try to survive this semester.”

“Is your schedule that bad?”

“Not really, there’s just this one class that I know is gonna suck; advanced biochem three days a week with Dr. Stark—I’m dreading it. His rate-my-professor score is abysmal, everyone says he doesn’t teach and expects you to basically know everything before you get to class.”

“Dr. Shark? I have a friend who took his class a couple semesters ago, she was his TA for one of his lab methods class too. I can give you her number and she can give you her notes or something.” Lonnie offers.

“ _Yes_ ,” Catra looks marginally less stressed “you are a lifesaver. You sure she won’t mind?”

“Nah, Regina’s cool.”

“Wow, look at us, I can’t believe I hated you as kids.”

Lonnie snorts. “Yeah no, I hated your ass too.”

“Hate, lust, there’s a thin line between.”

Lonnie laughs so hard her drink almost comes out of her nose. “As if Catra, but I’ll tell her to text you. So don’t be alarmed if you get a cryptic message from someone who talks a lot about Wednesday’s and the color pink.” 

Catra and Adora must share the same confused look because Lonnie cuts them off saying, “don’t ask.”

* * *

A couple hours into the party Catra decides to call it a night (Scorpia was drunkenly talking to Perfuma—something she told Catra to pull the plug on if it got that far). Their apartment is close to campus, about an hour drive up north, and she has to think about how she’s going to survive the night with a drunk Scorpia and research hungry Entrapta.

“Catra!” It’s as if Glimmer can sense that Catra’s leaving because she barrels into her back.

She almost falls over at the force of it all. “Hey buddy, you good?”

Glimmer slumps over on Catra’s shoulder. “Catra— _hiccup_ —you’re, _you_ , you’re my best friend.”

“Okay, I think it’s time for you to get to bed.” Catra asks Adora, “do you need me to stay back and help you with these two?”

Glimmer shouldn’t be an issue, she usually tires herself out, Bow’s the wild card.

“No, you’ll have your hands full with Scorpia and Entrapta.” Adora says, “I’ll see you on campus? We usually meet up for lunch on Wednesday’s, if not we’re probably at the library in the loud section.”

“Sounds good.”

Glimmer pulls Catra in for a solid hug despite her drunken state. “Text me when you’re in,” she slurs.

“Your head will probably be in a toilet by then but sure.”

Catra tries to slip away but Adora stops her with open arms. “Get back safe.”

Catra gives her a quick half armed hug. “I’ll see you.”

Catra leaves with Scorpia and Entrapta in tow but something trails behind. Adora can’t pinpoint what it is, but it lurks in the dark, hanging off the shadows like a parasite, just waiting there. A chill runs down Adora’s back; she slams the door and tries to distract herself by helping Glimmer and Bow sober up a bit.

That night, Adora tosses and turns in her sleep, startled awake numerous times by the same dream.

2

The first month of school passes by like the leaves falling off the old oak tree outside Etheria Hall, getting lost in the chill wind of October. Adora, having been locked in the library for the duration, leaves her lecture room after a brutal first exam. Though her brain is essentially fried she feels lighter—far more welcome to outlining the next chapter opposed to cramming five in for an exam that only breaches the surface of select concepts.

Adora let’s her feet guide her to the gym in the school basement just across the hall from the swimming pool. The gym in the sports center is far more equipped with treadmills, and bike machines, but she’s in the mood for free weights. Feeling this light is undocumented; she needs to stay on her toes—needs something to weigh her down a little.

Adora turns the corner and startles, “guys?” She blinks a couple times but Bow and Catra are really here. _Together_.

Bow is sporting his fine midsection per usual as he spots Catra on the bench as she presses 90lbs ( _not_ including the bar which weighs 45lbs on its own). He perks up, mindful to return the bar back to its holder before he runs up to greet her. Catra is far more sluggish, slinking off the bench lethargic in the way she pauses to stretch her arms a bit.

Adora nearly jumps out of her skin when Bow steps into her field of view, blocking Catra in the process.

“Adora!” Bow cheers, opening his arms before he stops and pulls back at the last minute. “Sorry, I’d hug you but I’m gross and sweaty.”

Catra joins them, swatting at his butt saying “awe, but I like you when you’re gross and sweaty.”

“Does that mean you want a _hug_?”

“What, no I didn’t say—“

It’s too late. Bow scoops her up with so much force her feet dangle helplessly above the floor.

“I’ve dreamed of this day,” Bow confesses.

“You’re so weird and— _wow_ , you really are gross and sweaty. Put me down,” Catra probably tries to sound serious but she’s laughing throughout the entire fit. She starts putting up more of a fight when a couple people look their way, wiggling with so much force that it makes Bow lose his footing over a stray barbell someone left out. 

“Bow!” Catra squeals as they go toppling over.

Catra lands beside Bow with her hands braced on his chest; a suggestive sight for someone who’s never met the two. It’s harmless, cute even, and Adora smiles—a weak and feeble thing.

“I’m so sorry,” Bow says in between his laughter “are you okay?”

“When I imagined breaking my back with you this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

Bow wheases. “Stop, I can’t breathe.”

Adora steps out of her body—transcending both space and time. When she looks down she doesn’t see Bow and Catra; she sees a murky image of two kids clutching to each other to survive their darkest nights.

“I didn’t know you guys were going to the gym.” Adora says when they’ve cooled off a bit to get up from the ground; their faces are still flushed from laughter as they bask in the aftermath.

“It wasn’t a planned thing. I ran into Catra after my Bio seminar and it just sort of happened.”

Adora nods. “I just finished my exam for my Exercise Science class. I’m following my basketball lifting routine and it’s arm day so I won’t be long. You guys want to get lunch after?”

“Yes! Best Friend Squad lunch! I’ll text Glimmer.”

Catra winces. “Sorry, I’ve got a date with my lab report. It’s due in twelve hours and I’m not trying to be up all night with it.”

“Next time? We can set a gym date so I can beat your time on the treadmill.” Adora suggests.

“Maybe, I have to check my schedule. It’s a little hectic right now, I barely had time for this.”

“I don’t care how busy your schedule is, you better not miss movie night on Friday or else Scorpia will kill you...or, you know, do whatever it is Scorpia does when she’s upset.” Bow says.

“Well, I live there. Can’t really get out of it.” Catra mutters to herself, “believe me I’ve tried.”

“Ooh I can’t wait. I heard she’s picking out a good scary movie to get us in the Halloween spirit.”

“It’s from my personal collection so be prepared to have nightmares for months to come.”

Bow runs a hand down his arm whispering, “I already have goosebumps.”

“Alright I seriously have to go before I procrastinate more than I already have.” Adora moves in for a hug but Catra backs away saying, “I’m all gross from mine _and_ Bow’s sweat.”

Bow sticks his tongue out at her.

Adora pulls her in anyway. “You know I don’t care about any of that, I’m not like Catherine. I won’t freak out if you get my bow wrinkled or step on my toes during a slow dance.”

“She was so mad.” Catra laughs.

“Catherine?”

“It’s a long story that I do not have time to tell.” Catra scoops up her duffel bag and shoulders it. “I’ll see you guys on Friday—bring snacks or don’t bother showing up.”

Adora waves goodbye long after Catra walks into the changing room like she’s a moment behind in time—knocked off her axis by Catra’s orbit. It lingers just as strong as if she were still in the room. When she finally gets back to reality Bow is looking at her with unkempt excitement.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?”

Bow raises a brow. “Gym date, huh?”

“We had silly competitions like that all the time when we were kids. Why? Was that weird? It was weird wasn’t it?”

“...never mind,” Bow deflates a bit. “How about you tell me more about Catherine? She sounds like a trip.”

3

Adora’s basking in her afternoon lunch on Wednesday when Glimmer brings something up that makes her heave. The muffin she picked up from _Etheria Tops_ comes out her throat leaving a dry trail behind that water can’t even assuage. Glimmer gets up to pat her on the back but Adora surprises them both when she slaps it away.

Something threatens to crawl out from her mouth—something Adora herself wasn’t aware existed. But Glimmer isn’t shocked at all; the edges of her mouth tilt up in mischief as she asks “what’s wrong?”

“What did you say?”

“I asked you what’s—“

“Before that,” her voice is rough from the upchucked muffin “about Catra.”

Glimmer actually laughs like Adora’s whole world hasn’t fallen off its axis. “Oh yeah, she’s thinking of getting her nipples pierced. She doesn’t think she can pull it off but I told her anything works for her, you know?”

“Yeah…” Adora’s throat bobs.

“Exactly, she’s gorgeous. It's kind of annoying sometimes.” Glimmer says, distracted as she texts Catra back. “So I told her to show me.”

Adora frowns. “Show you what?”

“To show me what she’s working with so I can tell her if it’ll look good or not.” Glimmer gestures to her own chest. “Just waiting to see what she says.”

“You, you’re gonna see…”

“If I’m lucky,” Glimmer jokes.

Adora knew the bond Catra and Glimmer formed over the summer was durable but she had no idea it extended to this level of intamacy. “Oh,” is all she can say in a whisper.

There’s suddenly a flash, out from beneath the shadows something creeps out with its chilling hand. It latches onto Adora’s ankles, leaving its cold mark before slowly making its way to the top. She’s unaware of the claws sinking in; it distracts her with hallucinations—with thoughts capable of morphing into dreams.

Adora imagines Catra coming to her with the proposition. They’re on the bed in Catra’s room with the door closed joking around when Catra brings up her thoughts of getting pierced. She makes off handed comments about it not looking good on her but Adora assuages her worries. “ _You’re beautiful_ , _”_ she tells her.

Catra snorts at her cheesy pickup line. _“You don’t even know if it would look good or not.”_

_“Anything on you would look great.”_

_“True...but still. I don’t know.”_ Catra looks off to the side, the way she does when she’s shy about what she's about to ask. _“...could you look and tell me if you think it would look okay? I have the plastic bar to press against my nipple to get an idea.”_

Adora, always the helpful friend, says _“yeah, of course. Whatever you need.”_

Then Catra gets up from the bed to stand in front of her, so close Adora can feel her breath, clipped with mint from her gum, ghosting across her forehead. Adora bunches the blanket in her fists in anticipation as Catra slowly pulls up the edge of her shirt until—

“Adora!”

Startled by her own thoughts Adora snaps, “what?”

“You’re bleeding!” Glimmer has a handful of napkins and is dabbing at Adora’s hand.

Adora looks at her hand. “Oh…” the pencil she’d been using to take notes has pierced her palm. She unballs her fist and watches in awe as Glimmer pulls the sharpened end out.

“Did you not feel that?”

Adora shakes her head. She was too lost in thought to notice the prickle in her palm, distracted by—

Adora shoots up, face set aflame with panicked eyes to match. “I uhm, library, yeah. I’m going to the library to read some chapters for class.”

Glimmer hesitates, “okay...but at least run some water over that and get a bandaid.”

Adora does a half assed rinse and sloppily wraps her hand with some tape she got from the athletic trainers office before she’s running out the door. She hears Glimmer’s phone _ping_ with a text and wonders briefly if it’s Catra with a response.

But just briefly.

* * *

The same night, Adora has a recurring dream. Catra asks Adora for help, cheeks painted red, as she slowly pulls up her shirt (one of Adora’s old basketball ones, something that pools around Catra’s hips to make her legs look longer than they are). But before Catra can get her shirt off Adora wakes with a gasp; sweat pooling in the dip of her collar and moisture forming in a place she’s not ready to think about.

And she’s selfish in the night, wiping the sweat away, lulling herself to sleep knowing what awaits her. Each time she tries to get a little closer.

The furthest she gets is seeing the bottom of Catra’s breast curving delicately out from under the shirt Adora gave her.

4

On Thursday Adora decides she’s been distracted long enough. Having been teased throughout the night, Adora gets up early and heads to the library to get some reading done. She finds a seat by the window where the sun peeks out from behind the blinds, warming her up a little in the chilly room. She doesn’t know how long she’s been reading when she looks up and sees Scorpia and Entrapta strolling in.

“Hmm, I don’t know...it needs to have a delicate touch and I don’t think pinchers are able to offer that.”

Scorpia whines. “But we could still test it out, right? Hypotheses have been wrong before.”

Entrapta says “fine, I’ll see what I can do. For science! Oh, hey, I know you.” She stops to lower her lab goggles that she must’ve forgotten to take off during one of her laboratory classes.

Adora waves sheepishly, still not sure how to act around Catra’s friends. She’s not clear on what they know about their falling out. The opposite seems to apply for Catra. Once their friendship was rekindled Bow and Glimmer took an immediate liking to Catra, going out of their way to invite her to events and gatherings inside their circle. It took less than a week—one shared sarcastic remark—to get Glimmer and Catra to become close. For Bow, all it took was one of Catra’s blueberry muffins she makes from scratch.

“Hey Adora!” Scorpia smiles all bright but she does that with everyone so Adora’s still not sure how to feel. “Do you want some company? We won’t make too much noise, or we can sit somewhere else…”

“You can sit here. It's fine. I was pretty much done anyway.” She lies through her teeth just so she can get some brownie points.

Scopia and Entrapta sit across from her and start piling all these weird gadgets onto the table. There’s stuff Adora doesn’t have words for, she just knows they’re all metal and shinny and—

“Is that a toothbrush?”

“For science!” Entrapa says as if it explains everything.

“Should I ask?”

Scopia smiles. “Oh, we’re making a robot for a race we entered a couple weeks from now. It’s pretty lame but we’ve been doing it since freshman year. And the prize is a surprise this year so it’ll be super fun.”

“That actually sounds amazing. Have you won any races?”

“We’re 15-0.”

“14-1.” Entrapta corrects without looking up from the toothbrush.

Scorpia sulks. “They cheated, we should’ve won that round. But, it’s still a pretty good record and it’s great for grad school applications. You should come see us sometime! It’s always a good show when the three of us put something together.”

“Three of us?”

“Yep. Each race we have a new surprise, you know, to keep the competition on their toes. I come up with our ace. This year I’m hoping it’ll be the pinchers, something we can use to pick at the competition mid race. Catra makes the strategy and Entrapta puts it all together. We’re the perfect team!”

Adora double takes. “Catra races robots?”

“Yeah,” Scorpia frowns “I thought you knew? I’m pretty sure I saw you at our last race. I’m sure of it, remember? It was in July on that really hot day, we beat Kenny’s team with a turbo boost at the last second winning by a hair. Then we went out for ice cream. You were there.”

“That wasn’t her.” Entrapta mutters.

“Huh? Are you sure?”

“The girl with Catra had sparkly hair.” Entrapta looks at Adora’s bland ponytail and confirms, “pretty sure.”

“Glimmer?” Adora asks in disbelief.

“Yes!” Scorpia nods. “Gosh, that was driving me crazy. But yeah, Glimmer came to watch us race.”

Adora frowns. “Catra never mentioned any of this.”

“It’s fine, you can just ask her about the next one.” Scorpia looks over Adora’s head and calls out, “hey wildcat”, far too loudly for the space they’re studying in.

Catra slinks up from behind Adora. “Hey.”

“You’re sweating,” Entrapta says bluntly.

Catra laughs, “accurate as always. But yeah, I had to run all the way here so I wouldn’t be late. I’m actually dying right now, I have a long sleeve under this hold on.” She drops her bag on the floor so she can pull off the bulky hoodie. Her long sleeve gets snagged in the hoodie, revealing a real image that pales to the comparison of Adora’s dream.

Adora looks away just as quickly, burned with the bitter taste of shame.

“Ooo, do we have all the parts ready?” Catra asks, eyes sparkling with excitement Adora hasn’t seen since they were kids.

It almost blinds her.

“Yep! Entrapta just needs to make the blueprints and it’s good to go. When she’s done then you can get started on the strategy.”

Catra grins, “great I already have some good ideas for—“

“I didn’t know you raced.” Adora wonders who brought it up but realizes she has spoken. She hadn’t meant to, usually she favors letting things work themselves out, but something compels her. A familiar chill blows across her ankle and this time it rests higher.

Adora is unaware of the climb until she feels it grip her cold and tight just beneath the back of her knees. When did it get so high…

“I didn’t think you’d be into it.”

“You race robots. Sometimes you sabotage them by making them explode to win. Why wouldn’t I be into it?”

Catra shrugs. “You were busy this summer with work, I didn’t want to bug you.”

“You brought Glimmer.”

“You were so focused on getting that internship at the trainers office,” Catra says surely but it sounds more like an excuse. “I thought you’d be busy.”

“I would’ve made time. You know that.”

Catra’s eyebrows pinch in, she looks away unable to meet her eyes. “I know, and I’m sorry, but you can come to the next one. The ones during the summer are pretty lame anyway, the real competition shows up during the fall when the cold weather gives them a challenge.”

“Yep, problem solved!” Scorpia interrupts before whispering something to herself that Catra and Adora can’t hear. Entrapta understands the gist of if because Adora sees her nodding in agreement.

Adora says, “so are you sitting down or are you gonna keep standing there like an idiot?”

“Idiot? No, I think you’ve got our roles confused. And I’m not staying, I have to meet someone but I’ll see you guys at the apartment.” Catra looks to Adora, “see you at movie night.”

But Catra doesn’t leave the library, she goes across the room to join some blonde in one of the privacy booths.

Adora frowns, “who’s she sitting with?”

Scorpia looks over. “Oh, that’s Regina.”

“She sounds familiar…”

“You probably heard Lonnie mention her at the party a couple months ago. Regina took Biochem and was the TA for the professor Catra has now so she’s helping her out a bit. Regina’s really cool! She throws the best Halloween parties...well, that’s what I’ve heard. I’ve never been invited to one but gosh it would be so—“

Adora loses track of whatever Scorpia’s rambling on about right around the time Regina giggles at something clever Catra probably said. It’s something Adora’s seen time and time before; some girl has a thing for Catra so they try to make themselves look cute by laughing at the smallest thing she says, going as far to brush hair behind their ears. But they always try too hard and Catra ends up dodging their advances because she can do better—Adora always thinks she can do better. She hasn’t once met anyone worth Catra’s time.

But Catra isn’t following the script. She’s actually smiling at Regina without a trace of malice.

“Gosh, are you alright?”

Adora looks down and again she sees the familiar blood spreading across her white wrapping. “Yeah, I must have opened it up again. It happened yesterday so it probably was never even closed.”

“Do you need more bandages? I can run to the health center.”

Adora stands up swiftly. “Nope, don’t worry about me. I’m finished anyway so I’ll stop by there on my own but thanks. I’ll see you guys tomorrow night?”

“Affirmative.”

“Of course! I can’t wait, this is going to be so exciting I’ve never hosted before.”

“Statistically 9 out of 10 times the guests leave dissatisfied with their experience.”

Scorpia looks panicked. “What? That can’t be right.”

“Data never lies.”

5

“Are you sure we have time for this?” Bow asks nervously.

“We don’t have a choice.” Glimmer says, skating down the snack aisle of the _711_ on Mainstreet. “We can’t show up to Scorpia’s first movie night without snacks, it’s rude...plus the last movie night we went too had the worst snacks _and_ I had to suffer through a terrible movie.”

Adora suggests, “the movie might be good tonight” as she scans the rack for chocolate.

Glimmer huffs. “ _The Lonely Bones_ just wasn’t for me.”

“I saw you crying!”

“Bow! I said never speak of it!” Glimmer shoves him away but he grabs at her hands and pulls her closer. “Don’t try and smooth it over now, the betrayal is too fresh.”

“Guys,” Adora throws a pack of skittles at them “try not to make out in the middle of the aisle, there are children.”

Glimmer mutters something under her breath that makes Bow nudge her in the stomach.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” Bow exclaims, picking up a family pack of mini KitKats “let’s just go with this. Come on, I hate being late to things.”

They pay up at the register and then make their way to Scorpia’s apartment on the other side of town. They get there later than they expected and hurry to the top floor of the apartment complex.

“Welcome! Oh, you brought KitKat's! Those are my favorite! Come in, come in, everyone’s all set up in the living room.” Scorpia guides them inside. “You can put the snacks on the table for everyone to share.”

Glimmer says, “sorry we’re late. The bridge was up so we were sitting around for a while. The GPS took us this random way, and I’ve only visited Catra once so I couldn’t remember the way she taught me. I’m terrible with directions.”

“Yeah, I hope we didn’t keep everyone waiting.” Bow says nervously.

“You guys are fine!”

They hand their coats off to Scorpia so she can put them on the bed in one of the rooms; Adora isn’t sure whose it is, having never actually visited the apartment until now. She can only assume Catra’s room is on the far right, tucked in the back of the hallway nearest to the bathroom and far from the ruckus in the living area.

“Catra’s not here yet.”

Adora almost punches Scorpia in the face (courtesy of growing up in the Horde) when she sneaks up on her. “What?” she stutters.

“I saw you looking at her room, Catra meets with her study group on Friday’s for biochem but she promised to leave early. She should be on her way.”

Glimmer huffs “tell Catra to hurry up before we start without her” as she sinks into the couch nudged in between Bow and the arm rest.

“Tell her yourself.”

Glimmer squeaks. “When did you get here?”

“Just now,” Catra says from the front door “voices echo like crazy in this place.”

“Close the door!” Mermista complains, tucking further into her sea of blankets.

“Sorry.” Catra holds the door open for Regina before closing it upon Mermista’s request. “Guys this is Regina, Regina this is everyone. She was curious about what normal college students do on Friday nights.”

Regina argues. “I _am_ a normal college student.”

“You fly to Paris when you want a croissant. That shit is not normal.”

Glimmer stands up with a hand outstretched. “So this is the one you were telling me about.”

“Yeah, you’re both rich so you probably already know each other.”

“Catra I told you, not all rich people know each other.” Glimmer trails off, “it’s only a coincidence Regina’s mom and mine were in the same sorority.”

Regina is a frail, skinny, thing but Adora doesn’t underestimate the devious glint in her eye. Her lips, stained with some fancy red lipstick, twist up at the corners ready for a verbal fight; her calculating eyes, skimping over Adora—lips twisting higher—suggests the assessment has already begun. And Adora hates how Regina takes one look at her and seemingly knows it all, knows things that Adora herself has not come to admit.

No, the truth is, Adora doesn’t think Regina is much of anything. Sure she’s rich and money can go a long way, but she probably hasn’t had to suffer the things her and Catra did. Regina could never compete with the bond they share. Regina is all clean pressed, not a hair out of place, and disgustingly pink; she and Catra used to laugh at people like her.

Adora bets she can take Regina out with one punch.

“Adora, can you get the lights?” Glimmer says.

“Oh, yeah sorry.” Adora hits the lights and settles on the other side of the couch next to Bow.

Adora doesn’t catch the name of the movie but based on the stupid teenagers and the shoddy budget on the first kill ten minutes in, it doesn’t matter. She snorts at the unrealistic blood and goes to make a snide comment to Bow but he’s actually jumping at the obvious jump scares. Even Glimmer tucks into Bow’s side with a grip so tight it causes the sleeves of his top to bunch.

The glare from the screen let’s her get an idea of the rest of her friends and they’re in the same shape as Bow and Glimmer; practically hiding under their blankets. Mermista is the only one faring well—she actually looks a little bored as she leans her chin into her palm. She’s probably already figured out who the killer is.

Adora’s phone buzzes with a text. She checks it under her blanket, it’s thick enough to not have the annoying light coming through to tip everyone in.

She almost drops her phone.

_Catra: this movie sucks_

_Catra: I promise this isn’t from my collection but the one I picked had a cover so frightening it gave Scorpia nightmares so we had to change it last minute_

Catra hasn’t texted her leisurely since high school. Usually she only reaches out when Glimmer misplaces her phone or when she left something at their apartment. It’s been so long since Catra’s just texted her to talk.

Adora stares at her screen like an idiot.

_Catra: come on, don’t tell me you’re actually buying any of this. Has your time with Sparkles made you soft?_

Adora scoffs in outrage.

_Adora: this movie is awful...the blood is ketchup I’m sure of it, there was a bottle of it missing from the counter in one of the restaurant scenes and I swear they improvised_

Across the room Catra snickers. It’s a rough timbre, just below the television noise but Adora hears it anyway and it makes her stomach twist.

_Adora: and I am not soft_

_Adora: that’s Regina’s scene_

Adora has no idea where that comes from and it’s obvious neither does Catra when her face twists under the light of her phone.

_Catra: Regina’s cool. Remember when I thought Glimmer was soft? Then she beats me at beer pong, we both barf in your bathroom and suddenly we’re best friends. Life is crazy like that._

_Adora: sounds like you’re just crazy_

_Catra: lol think we established that after I egged your house after our fight_

Adora remembers the night fondly.

_Adora: maybe I like a little crazy_

Too much. She spares a glance across the room; Catra looks at her phone for a long moment and eventually replies—

_Catra: lol whatever_

She’s a little disappointed, Catra’s far more capable of coming up with a better response than this. It feels like a way out, no hard feelings for Adora to move on with the way things are—the way they have been. Normally she’d take it blindly but Adora is still haunted by that dream—every night a new opportunity and yet she doesn’t seem to ever get close. It makes her consider—just for a moment—but tradition holds her back.

She and Catra are friends just like they’ve always been.

6

It’s the week leading into Halloween and Adora locks herself up in the gym to outline chapters for class just to keep her mind occupied. The gym is a nice change in scenery and she gets to shoot a couple baskets in between her study breaks. It has nothing to do with Catra parading Regina in the library at the exact time Adora goes there to study. Honestly, she couldn’t care less about their lingering touches and hushed whispers— _snap_.

Adora curses. “Damn it, I’m running out of pencils.” The wound on her palm still hasn’t healed from her last fiasco. Just when the wound begins to heal salt gets thrown on it.

“I have an extra you can borrow.”

Adora startles. “Oh...thank you.”

“No problem.” A guy who looks like he just started college two days ago practically shoves a clean shaven pencil in her face. His hands are ridiculously soft—even Kyle had a couple calluses before puberty hit him, like the winter—predicted but still outright surprising.

He keeps standing there staring at her for a few awkward moments. Adora gives, “uhm did you want it back?”

“No!” His voice squeaks so high she almost has to cover her ears. “I mean...would you like to see a magic trick?” A sudden crooked grin spreads across his peach fuzz face; if he weren’t so quirky Adora would say he’s cute.

“A magic trick?”

He nods all hopeful, it’s obvious college hasn’t taken the spark from his eyes so she decides he has to be at least an underclassmen.

“Sure.” Adora shrugs.

“Great.” He pulls out a worn down wallet with something wrapped in plastic peeking out from the lip. “Go ahead,” he gestures for her to take it.

Adora assumes it’s one of those lame handkerchief pranks where it never seems to end no matter how many you pull out and it turns out she’s right.

Partially.

But instead of handkerchiefs, Adora’s pulling out a line of packet condoms. She stops indulging in his sick joke when she gets over the initial shock. “Don’t drop out of college,” she says while hurrying to collect her things so she can get as far away from him as possible.

He shakes his head, frantic. “No please, wait!” She doesn’t stop packing up but she watches as he hurries to pluck out the rest of the condoms until he gets to the final row. He holds it up to her like a line of polarized film. “So?”

Adora frowns. “So you have more than three dozen small sized condoms?”

He blushes and flips the line over so she can read what’s written in bold red marker: _will you go out with me?_

“...wow.”

“Pretty cool right?” He actually thinks he deserves to look smug right now. “I heard there’s this Halloween mixer the track team is having Thursday night and wanted to see if you’d be my date? Don’t let this fool you it was just a prop, I’ve actually got some really big clown shoes in the back of my trunk.”

Adora is now carefully backing away. “Oh...no thank you…” she would usually put him down easier but she’s a little freaked at the moment.

He groans. “Man, I knew I should’ve gone with the squirting flower. If you wait here I can go get it—“

But Adora’s already out the double doors by the time he turns around.

* * *

Adora walks in a couple random loops before she heads to her dorm just in case that guy from the gym decides to follow her. She’s desperate to tell Bow and Glimmer about what happened but they’re not in the apartment when she gets in. She is a little relieved though, it’s nice to have some time to herself after the strange day she’s had. 

Adora takes a long shower and decides to spoil herself with ice cream and _Grey’s Anatomy_. She just changed into one of her lacrosse hoodies and loose sweatpants when there’s a knock at the door. She runs the towel over her head to dry the wet hair on the back of her neck as she cautiously looks through the peephole. Catra’s leaning against the frame with her hands tucked in the pockets of her ripped jeans with a bag hanging from her shoulder.

Adora hurries up to dry what she can of her messy hair, tossing the towel into her hamper, and checking herself in the mirror before she opens the door. She goes for a causal “hey” but it gets caught in her throat anyway.

Catra nods, eyes lingering on her hair. “Hey Adora—“

Her stomach chooses this moment to do backflips.

“Is Glimmer here? She said I could drop off her bag she left at my place.”

“Oh, yeah sure...you can come in. Glimmer’s not here though.”

“Ah place to yourself then? How are you celebrating? Wait don’t tell me.” Catra says, “ _Grey’s Anatomy._ ”

Adora smiles. “You want to watch a few episodes?”

“I’m good, I’ll just leave this with you.”

“Okay.” Adora goes to close the door before she can embarrass herself but Catra blocks the door with her foot. “What is it?”

“Just out of curiosity, did anything weird happen to you today?”

Adora shivers at the memory. “Yeah, this creepy guy asked me to pull out a long pack of condoms from his wallet like some sick magic trick. It was like a prom-posal gone wrong.”

Catra’s mouth quirks at the corners. “No way.”

“Yeah it was—“ Adora stops and then gasps when she puts the pieces together. “It was _you_?”

“What was me?”

Adora drops the bag and rounds up on her, “you did something. I know that look.”

“I have a look?”

“Stop deflecting.”

Catra finally lets her smile slip through. “Okay maybe the kid came and asked me what kind of stuff you were into before he asked you out.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That you had a clown fetish but he told me he would use one of the flowers that squirt water.”

Adora laughs, “wait stop he actually did mention it!”

Catra looks sheepish. “You’re not mad though right?”

Adora shakes her head. “It’s nice actually...we haven’t pranked each other in a while you know?”

Catra smiles at the thought. “Yeah.”

For a moment Adora feels like everything is the way it should be. 

Adora says, “hey...do you wanna—“

“Catra!” Regina shouts, barreling into Catra until she’s draped across her shoulder. “My car’s out front are you ready to go?”

Catra tells her, “yeah one second. Adora, were you about to—“

“What? No. It’s nothing, but uh, what’re you two up to tonight? It’s probably better than my lame night in.”

Regina’s smile is all dimples and sugar. “A, as Catra likes to call it, _fancy_ restaurant opened up on 5th street. We’re only going in for the appetizers so they’re probably gonna hate us but we heard they have the best mozzarella sticks.”

Catra snickers, “yeah they have a serious dress code but we’re just gonna wear our school hoodies. We’ll probably get tossed out before we make it past the front lobby.”

“It’s cool,” Regina says “if that happens we’ll just have something to eat at my place.”

Catra pauses. “Adora, do you want to come with?”

Adora shudders at the thought of being a third wheel.

“No I’m fine thanks but you two have fun.”

“Thanks girl,” even when Regina tries to be polite it rubs Adora the wrong way.

“I’ll see you at the track mixer?” Catra asks before Regina can drag her away.

“Yeah, see you then.”

She closes the door so she doesn’t have to watch Regina hang off Catra’s arm the same way Adora remembers doing so herself.

7

Adora’s scrolling through her instagram feed the next night in bed when she comes across a picture Catra posted with Regina outside the restaurant they mentioned going to. The streetlights cover them in an alluring glow and Adora hates to admit they actually look good together.

Against her better judgement Adora clicks on Regina’s profile. It has the classic rich girl photos of fancy foods, places she’s traveled, and friends she probably made through benefits alone.

Adora stops at an old Halloween picture Regina posted where she’s dressed in a ridiculously revealing lingerie set with bunny ears to top it off. It’s stupid, and offensive to women everywhere and—

Catra liked it.

8

Adora’s first mistake was going over her drinking limit but this doesn’t impact her until the night proceeds.

It’s Halloween night when she goes to the track mixer with Bow, Glimmer, and their usual group of misfits. Adora’s historic Halloween costumes have been simple (last year she was a baseball player with black war paint streaked across her face). Safe and conservative. It is a shock to everyone when she forgoes tradition just a bit by dressing up as a boxer. What makes it scandalous is the amount of skin she’s showing tonight.

Adora’s outfit consists of a matching black sports bra and fitted boxers with a championship white and gold robe draped over her shoulders. She knows the product of her strict training regime for the various sports she is a part of and is in the mood to flaunt it this year. It has nothing to do with Catra being on the track team and bound to show face.

“Greyskull,” Double Trouble whistles at her in passing, “looks like you’re finally with the program.”

Adora ignores them in favor of helping herself to a drink. Usually she doesn’t drink between seasons but midterms are over and she thinks she deserves a break. 

“Bow, don’t make any sudden movements...Adora is actually drinking tonight.”

Adora rolls her eyes at Glimmer’s antics. “It’s not that surprising.”

“No,” Glimmer gestures to Adora’s stomach. “Nothing can be as surprising as your costume this year. What’s up with it? It looks amazing but you usually don’t show...any skin.”

“Or abs,” Bow quips.

Adora shrugs. “Thought it was time for a change.”

There’s a sudden ruckus near the door that pulls Adora’s attention away but it’s Catra’s grand entrance that keeps her captivated.

Catra’s favorite holiday is Halloween. She has gushed to Adora about how she loves getting to dress up as someone new without having to worry about societal expectations.

“Catra’s here.” Bow says, waving in her direction.

“Yes!” Glimmer squeals. “She told me she’s drinking tonight so I actually have someone who can keep up with me. No offense Adora.”

But Adora’s too busy admiring Catra’s costume to notice any jabs.

This year Catra is dressed like a zombie, but it’s a college Halloween party so Adora thinks it’s fair to classify her costume as a sexy zombie. It’s a simple concept; a battered white shirt covered in fake blood and fishnet black stockings, but it leaves Adora winded regardless.

Catra’s shirt is cut just below her collar, revealing a scandalous amount of cleavage; it’s far too exact to be an accident.

“I’m going over, you guys coming with?” Glimmer asks.

Adora wants to do a lot of things but seeing Regina slip seemingly out of nowhere, settling in at Catra’s side, makes her hesitant.

“No, I’ll catch up.” Adora says, downing her drink before searching for another.

Glimmer pauses to ask Bow, “can you keep an eye on her?”

Bow nods dutifully. “You can count on me.”

* * *

Adora loses Bow a couple hours in. He keeps good on his promise for a while, keeping Adora with the group, before the DJ plays everyone’s favorite song and Adora loses her friends in the crowd.

She heads back into the kitchen to get away from the loud bass. Catra’s been missing since her first appearance at the door and since Glimmer is on the dance floor, Catra must be smoking somewhere with Perfuma. Adora will find her after the party hopefully when—

“Hey, it’s Anna right?”

“Adora.”

Regina’s leaning against the pantry and like always is in Adora’s way.

“Can you move? I want some chips.”

Regina opens the pantry but stays put. “Which ones?”

“Salt and vinegar.”

Regina grabs them but stops halfway. “You can’t actually, I just remembered I wanted those.”

Adora doesn’t know much about Regina but she has a feeling this girl is not the type to like salt and vinegar chips.

Adora frowns. “No you don’t, you just want them because I do.”

“You’ve had all night to get them.” Regina says, and suddenly Adora doesn’t think they’re talking about chips. “It’s too late. But don’t worry Anna, you can have the crumbs when I’m done with her—“

The solo cup slips from Adora’s hand, amber splashing to the tile, announcing the first round as Adora lunges close to deck Regina with a solid right hook. A shout to her left, Glimmer (she’ll recall the next morning as her hangover fades), and arms try to warrant her attack but their efforts are too kind. In the uproar their kind touches are pushed away and soon replaced with an assertive hold; it’s far more solidifying. Adora doesn’t have to turn around to know that it’s Catra, she can feel the burn in her shoulder as her arm is twisted around her back—the granite cuts into her diaphragm when she’s pushed up against it.

“Adora,” she knows the protocol, hell, Catra invented the protocol. Growing up in the Horde, a grotesque place, where the people are the same, showing emotion wasn’t an option. They weren’t built to respond well to kindness, Adora has slowly learned how with the help of Bow and Glimmer but when the rage engulfs her it’s easy to forget the new things she’s been taught.

“Tap out,” Catra reassures her, voice so close to her ear it makes Adora shiver “it’s okay.”

Adora stops fighting and tries to focus on not passing out with how choppy her breathing is. And her efforts are rewarded; Catra silently ushers them away from the raging crowd that is now surrounding Regina who’s sprawled out on the floor, out cold from the punch. It’s not entirely her fault. Adora doubts anyone could last more than a minute after getting punched by a product of the Horde.

“Sit. Stay.” Catra barks orders, pushing Adora to sit still on the toilet seat cover. She disappears for a couple minutes, and behind the door Adora can hear faint chatter—hushed—but her head is throbbing and she’s too exhausted to give it any thought so she leans her head on the wall and waits.

The tap from the leaky faucet keeps her company. _Tup...tup...tup..._ a quick flash of Regina’s cocky smirk... _tup_ …the dull bite of Adora’s nails digging into her palms as a fist forms... _tup_ ...the satisfaction of landing a hit... _tup_...the adrenaline fading when Adora realizes Catra’s probably not here because she’s checking on Regina.

Something hot bubbles in her throat, she’s afraid it’ll come tumbling out if she opens her mouth so she keeps it cradled shut but only barely. Her jaw shakes, teeth clattering like an impossible chill has crept up but the windows are shut in fact there’s fog on the mirror—it must be her. She’s cold from the inside and it’s leaking out; something nasty, something cruel, something green.

It’s her revelation and it’s tainted.

Adora feels like something might come up out of her stomach and she hasn’t had much to drink despite what her actions may assume. She hunches forward, ignoring the strands that have escaped her sloppy ponytail.

“I bet you’re feeling it now, huh?” Catra’s back with a pack of crushed ice that she’d slipped inside a plastic lunch baggy. She drops down to kneel in front of Adora when she doesn’t make a move to get up. “Gimme your hand.”

Adora blindly holds out her hand.

Catra snorts. “The other one, idiot.”

“S’orry.” Adora slurs, from the alcohol or Catra’s warm touch, something she hasn’t felt in a while, she isn’t sure which (she’d bet on the ladder).

“It’s already starting to bruise,” Catra mumbles “your Coach is going to freak out if they see this, you should wear those gloves you keep in the side pocket of your car...y’know, the ones with—“

“The hole on the palm.”

Catra nods. “Yeah, those...how many times do I have to tell you to get some new ones?”

“It’ll take too much time to break in a new pair.”

“Yeah yeah. Regardless, it’s cold enough so she won’t question it at practice.” Catra presses down on the ice pack and replaces her hand with Adora’s. “Hold this, yeah just like that, I’ll see if Emma has any tape to hold it in place.”

Adora swallows something dry and tries to be subtle when she watches Catra rummage through the cabinet. Catra’s changed a lot since they were kids; Adora can mark every milestone in Catra’s maturity. At five Catra lost the cute lisp Lonnie and the others used to tease her for; at ten she stopped tripping over her tail—grace replacing clumsiness; at fifteen her freckles became more prominent around her nose; at seventeen she outgrew the tufts behind her ear...at eighteen they had their fight and they didn’t speak for three years. And now, at twenty-one it all seems to come together perfectly and utterly inconvenient for Adora.

She looks away when Catra comes back over and kneels beside her again. “I found some tape we use to wrap ankles, it should keep everything together for a while. Ice for twenty minutes and then take it off for another twenty.”

Adora feels her stomach flutter, something threatening to come up again, but this time it’s different. It’s different in the way her palms get sweaty, the way her face heats up, the way she’s noticing for the first time how good Catra smells ( _did she always smell this good?_ ). Lost in it all, Adora is stuck in a trance when those mismatched eyes, the ones that have always been watching her, the ones she desperately tried to look good in front of, peer into her own. And what a sight she must be, eyes frantic, brow furrowed, as she’s bombarded with the bitter truth.

“You okay?” Catra asks, face pinching together from concern. “Is it too tight?”

“No, it’s fine,” she stumbles over her words “thank you.”

Catra looks a bit more at ease but her eyes are still dark. “What’s up with you? Basketball is just getting started, and I get that you want to unwind after midterms, but you can’t lose it like that. This isn’t like you.”

“Now you care.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re supposed to be my best friend.”

Catra argues “I am—“

“—you hang out with everyone but _me_ . You avoid me! You only come to the apartment to see Glimmer or Bow, you jump at the tiniest touch, you spend all your time with Regina _fucking_ Harris and latch onto her every word.”

Catra blinks, stumped at Adora’s language. “Did she, did Regina do something to you? Why are you acting like this? I know I’ve been a shitty friend and I’m sorry but I’m here now and I can’t sit back and watch you spiral so just tell me what’s—“

Adora leans down and kisses her so hard Catra almost falls back on her heels. There’s a lapse in time; Adora with her eyes pinched, hands desperately tangled in a wild chestnut mane, Catra stiff as a board as her mind takes a moment to catch up. When the lapse is over, Catra gasps in realization or disgust Adora isn’t sure. Adora runs her tongue across Catra’s bottom lip and by some beautiful miracle it accidentally slips past parted lips and rubs against something wet and rough.

They moan, feeding off of whatever they’ve been tiptoeing around since high school. But they don’t go to Etheria High anymore, gone are the fumbling kids who awkwardly chase after _something_ just out of reach beneath the stars peeking out over the bleachers. Older, not experienced but wise enough to read between the lines, they run together, chasing after that night taken from them.

Adora’s surprised at how eager Catra is, not letting their lips part for longer than a second when they break for a breath. She grips at Adora’s thigh, nails biting into her skin and Adora hopes it leaves a mark; some kind of trace she can use to commemorate this night.

_Something Regina can see, something that’ll make her back off._

“Adora,” her voice is hoarse, lips red and bruised around her name.

Adora whimpers, “Catra…” keeping up the pace by trailing wet kisses down Catra’s jaw.

“Adora.”

Her lips are cold and suddenly everything is wrong. Catra’s backing away. _Why is she backing away?_

“What’s wrong?”

Catra pulls the hands out from her neck and stands. “You’re drunk, Adora.”

“You kissed me back” it’s childish but it’s what comes to mind; it’s an important aspect.

“I shouldn’t have.”

Adora breaks, “is the thought that terrible…”

“You’re drunk, you’re not thinking straight.”

“Okay.”

Catra hesitates at the door. “I’ll get Glimmer to take you home.”

“Okay.”

Catra hovers at the door for a moment longer before she’s gone. Adora listens to her light footsteps fade, and it’s not until they’re gone completely that she breaks down. She falls to her knees, skin biting into the tile, as her body shakes with something akin to rage and fear and rejection. Her chest feels tight, she’s breathing but so can’t get enough air. She doubles her efforts until she’s heaving. And that’s how Glimmer finds her, clawing at the ground and hyperventilating.

“Adora are you—oh my…” she falls to the floor and pulls her in close, brushing fallen strands from her tear stained face. “It’s okay, count with me...one...two...three…”

It takes a minute of counting to get her breathing back to normal. Another five for her hands to stop shaking.

“...I can’t…”

Glimmer frowns. “What’s wrong?”

Adora whimpers, “she doesn’t want me...I can’t—“

“It’s okay.” Glimmer shushes her ragged mumbling.

Adora doesn’t know how long they stay on the floor like that or when Bow comes in to help scoop her up and carry her to the car. Everything is fuzzy up until she’s slipping beneath her covers while Bow and Glimmer talk in hushed voices just outside her door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, this was supposed to be one whole chapter in Adora's POV but I wanted to post this prematurely just because it's Halloween and this was within the time frame. Next chapter will still be Adora's and will hopefully finish up the story and then I will post a Part I and II - C which will be in Catra's POV. I'll have more information on it as the story goes on.
> 
> I'm super busy with school so sorry for the late updates but I hope you guys liked this chapter and tell me what you think or give any predictions/suggestions. I'm all ears!


	3. Parts I and II - C

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: the headers with numbers (example: 1, 2, 3, etc.) represents the PRESENT while the headers with numbers written out (example: one, two, three, etc.) represent PAST events that happened in the last chapter in Catra’s POV.

(Parts I and II - C)

8

Stray light passing through the drapes lining Catra’s French door window wakes her up along with the unpleasant heat that trails down the side of her face. The slight burn of the sun leaves her face blotchy and red but what’s killing her is the headache. While she hadn’t drank much (nor is she a lightweight) the true headache comes from arranging her drunk friends into the tight space of her Honda Civic and getting them back safe. Scorpia crashes on the couch after giving out hugs to random people in passing while Entrapta taps out after tinkering with one of her gadgets (but at least this time there was no malfunction).

Catra is wary to check her phone and does so quickly—ripping off the band aid. There is one from Bow, just checking in, Perfuma, asking about Scorpia’s safety, Glimmer, bombarding her with half a dozen calls and texts demanding she call her, and Adora who—

She decides it’s too early to open the can of worms that is her relationship with Adora and shoves her phone into her drawer. Catra gets up to put on some lazy clothes to lounge around in. She’s pulling on some fuzzy socks Mermista got her as a gag gift when there is buzzing coming from the drawer. She almost ignores it before she catches a glance of who’s calling.

Catra answers the FaceTime request and is met with a worse for wear Regina—she’s obviously just woken up, her head pokes out from beneath her fancy silk covers looking like a wilderness survivor who has just been found after months of being stranded. Her blonde hair is skewed at odd cow-licked angles, falling into her face, but the black and blue lining around her left eye is very noticeable. Catra flinches at the brutality; someone as soft as Regina having something so  _ glaring  _ on her delicate features.

“Good morning.” Catra tries, but Regina grunts and ducks back under the covers.

“Fuck everything.”

Catra shifts awkwardly, her phone feeling bulky in the palm of her hand. What’s she supposed to say?  _ Sorry my best friend clocked you in the face? Sorry I left to go help her in the bathroom while you lay in a daze on the floor? _

“You good?” Catra asks instead like an idiot. It’s not the best but it’s better than what she’s thinking.

“...how bad is it?”

“Not bad.”

“ _ Catra. _ ”

“It’s pretty gruesome.” Catra wishes she could be there to pull Regina out from the covers to better reassure her. “But the doctor said your eye will be fine. And hey, at least she didn’t break your nose right?”

Regina pokes her head out and glares at her. “It’s not funny. I have to take a family portrait for Thanksgiving, we’re having Antonio Ruiz fly out from Spain. Now I have to pull together all my alloy creams and pray for a miracle.”

Catra makes a face. “Thanksgiving isn’t until a couple weeks.”

“Exactly. We take the portrait in advance so we don’t look bloated.”

“Bloated? Your entire family probably weighs less than 500 pounds.”

“I’m glad you find this funny.”

Catra tries to keep a straight face. “You’re right, sorry...is the family portrait that important?”

“Yes of course. It hangs on the highest mantle of Harris Manor; the first thing you see walking into the terrace. We’re taking it at our cabin on Mount Etheria because the auroras at night do wonders on the lighting.” Regina takes a pause. “Maybe I can go up there this weekend to test out what kind of product I’ll need to fix this bruise. Egg shell may seem like it works for anything but then, the next thing you know, you’ve got yellow blotches on your cheek because the painter used a bright background.”

Catra chuckles. “That’s specific.”

“So it’s settled!” Regina jumps up, suddenly rejuvenated. “We’re going to my cabin this weekend to sort out the details.”

“What? Why do I have to go?”

Regina narrows her eyes. “ _ You’re  _ friend Anna—“

“Adora.”

“—gave me a black eye. You literally can’t say no.”

Catra sighs. “Regina I can’t just take off for the weekend to go live in the mountains. I have class Monday.”

“Your class isn’t until the afternoon, and today is Friday. If we get there tonight we can leave Sunday morning and be back in the afternoon.” Something catches Regina’s attention on the other side so she speaks in a rush, “I’ve gotta go, my Givenchy sweater isn’t where I left it. I swear, I am going to kill Gretchen!”

Catra pulls the phone away when Regina starts elicit shouting at her roommate.

Regina says, “I’ve got to go but just think about it” before she ends the call.

Catra doesn’t know what to think about  _ that  _ so she slinks out from her room to see how much damage control is needed. Scorpia’s awake, scrolling through her Instagram feed of cute animals, still sprawled out on the couch while Entrapta downs a bottle of water on the loveseat adjacent.

“Hey, you guys feel alright?”

Scorpia grunts, “wildcat please stop yelling.”

“Okay,” Catra whispers dramatically “do we have any eggs?”

“No, we used them all for the prototype, remember?”

“Oh yeah.” In hindsight it was a terrible idea to use all the good eggs to test their catapult arm for the upcoming race but on the other hand it was awesome to egg Weaver’s old orphanage. “Worth it,” Catra says while she goes into the kitchen in search of something edible.

Scorpia asks after a long moment. “So, not that we were eavesdropping or anything, you know our apartment walls are super thin—“

“3 ½ inches wide.” Entrapta supplies.

“So we couldn’t help but hear about you going to Mount Etheria tonight.”

Catra slumps into a seat at the kitchen table, settling for an apple left out in the fruit basket. “She wants me to go but I think I’m gonna pass. I need to be here.”

“No, you don’t.”

“...just in case something happens.”

“Catra. It’s not your job to take care of her.” Scorpia’s voice chills the room. “Glimmer gave me a heads up this morning when you didn’t answer her messages.”

Catra feels her claws dig into the apple. Catra recalls a time where she would’ve thrown the apple across the room, decking Scorpia in the face, or breaking one of Entrapta’s gadgets she’d worked so hard on, in the blink of an eye and not having a care in the world about who get hit in the crossfire. Back then she was broken glass, hurting whoever got close enough; especially when they were trying to pick up the pieces. But she’s not glass anymore.

“What’d Glimmer tell you?”

“Everything.”

Catra loses her appetite to the burning in her chest—it travels, branching out like a wildfire until she’s burnt all over. Her voice is thick with the smoke, “oh.”

“Catra.” Scorpia is closer than before and Entrapta isn’t far behind. “Sometimes letting go—”

Catra shakes her head.

“—you have to listen, you always tell us the truth so now I’m repaying the favor. Sometimes letting go hurts, and you think it’s the wrong thing to do, but you have to do it. Glimmer said you were  _ shaking  _ last night. And it would be different if this was a one time thing where Adora made a mistake but you’ve punished yourself for years with her.”

“...she’s my best friend, Scorpia. I can’t just leave her. We look out for each other.”

“I didn’t say leave her. Just get some space until you can be around her without feeling like you have to hold yourself back. Everyone sees the way you tiptoe around her and it shouldn’t be like that.”

Catra traces the simple red lined case of her phone with the brush of a finger while she lets Scorpia’s words settle. She accidently touches the screen and can’t stop herself from looking at the wave of messages that are still coming through; Glimmer’s are the most prominent although she’s done with being kind and is demanding Catra answer the phone before she punches her through it.

“Who are you texting?” Scorpia asks.

“Glimmer,” she shows them her screen “just letting her know I’m fine.” She sends it quickly and can’t help but skimp down to the two short texts Adora sent the night before but Entrapta snatches her phone. “Hey!”

“No texting Adora!”

“I was just going to see if she’s okay.”

Scorpia says, “Adora has Bow and Glimmer with her, she’s fine. And you, you’re moving on. Adora blinds you to everything around you. You were so obsessed with Adora freshman year you didn’t even notice I had a crush on you!”

“Wait, you  _ what _ ?”

“The point is, you’ve gotta move on, wildcat. Entrapta help me out here.”

“Madness.”

“What?”

“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting to get different results. It’s madness.”

“Exactly, so let’s do something different!” Scorpia is suddenly far more enthusiastic for someone who has a hangover. “We should go to Regina’s cabin on Mount Etheria. It’ll be a nice break.“

Entrapta takes out a notepad and pen. “Hmm, it would be interesting to test the lengths of how much altitude can affect the model designs I’ve made for the wings—” she trails off into scattered mumbles as she furiously jots notes down.

“What do you think?” Scorpia looks hopeful.

“Okay, fine whatever. I’ll text Regina. Can I have my phone back before Entrapta uses it as a detector?”

“Hey, it’s not my fault your detector was too weak to handle the light passing through my spectroscope!”

Scorpia hands her phone back. “One text to Regina getting all the details but after this I’m keeping your phone until we get back. This is meant to be a relaxing getaway.”

Catra rolls her eyes but does as she’s told.

_ Catra: I’m in _

Regina gets back to her in less than a minute.

_ Regina: great! It’ll be so fun, we’ll order whatever gross takeout you want. No fancy foods. I’ll pick you up at five _

_ Catra: It’s cool if Scorpia and Entrapta tag along right? _

There are typing bubbles constantly appearing and disappearing. Eventually Regina settles on:

_ Regina: no problem! _

Catra sighs, “guess we’re going on a—“

“Roadtrip!” Scorpia winces at her own voice. “Okay, too loud…”

_ One _

It takes Catra getting a B- on her first Biochem quiz to finally take Lonnie up on her offer she gave at Glimmer’s party a couple months back.

_ Catra: Hey I’m Catra, Lonnie’s friend, she said you could help me out with Shark’s class? _

_ Regina: You’re the grumpy one she told me about _

Catra snorts at Lonnie’s astute observation.

_ Regina: What section are you guys on? _

_ Catra: Learning about amino acids and primary structure. I didn’t get a terrible grade on the quiz but that shit builds up. Can you help me out? _

_ Regina: I’m free tomorrow at noon. We can meet up at the library. _

_ Catra: Thanks, I appreciate this. _

_ Regina: One last thing _

_ Regina: Wear pink _

_ Catra: Huh? _

_ Regina: Shit, sorry, that was for this new girl who moved into our apartment. Ignore this. _

_ Catra: Too late, I’m scared and intrigued. _

_ Regina: The less you know the better. _

9

Regina picks them up around five in her Jeep Grand Cherokee, and it should've been Catra’s first clue that this weekend was going to be a shit show. Normally when she hangs out with Regina they ride around in her sleek BMW, with the nice heated leather seats, or the Porsche, with the top down enjoying the wind in their hair. But today, Regina rolls up in a Jeep. Something the everyday person can afford; how Catra fails to notice the signs of her demise is beyond her.

It doesn’t hit Catra until Scorpia is tapping her awake a couple hours in. “Wildcat, you gotta look at this view!”

Catra takes a moment to blink away the sleep from her eyes. When she comes to her senses her tail puffs up and a hiss threatens to slip from her mouth. There is snow, for  _ miles _ , and they’re driving  _ towards  _ it—closer to the high mountains where it accumulates the most. Thinking back, it did strike her as strange that Scorpia was packing their heavy coats but with everything going on Catra hadn’t thought much of it.

“That’s a lot of snow.” Catra mutters.

Regina smiles. “That’s how you know we’re getting close, the entrance is just another mile. If you think this is snow wait until we get inside the resort.”

“I thought it was your family's cabin?”

“It is but we also own a private ski resort a couple miles out. Wait until I show you guys the slopes, you’ll love it.”

Scorpia squeals. “I’ve always wanted to go skiing!”

“We can test out to boosters!” Entrapta exclaims with glee.

Meanwhile Catra sulks deeper into her seat in the passenger. “Great,” she mutters to herself.

True to Regina’s word, they reach the entrance point for the ski resort in a few short minutes. It’s unnervingly dark outside but the lantern lights tied in an organized pattern guides them closer to civilization. Regina slows the car as they get off the gravel and onto the fresh snow as she pulls them away from the resort. It’s pretty late, probably around ten at night, so everything is shut down.

“Wow, this is your cabin?” Scorpia asks in awe.

“I know, it’s really small. I promise the one in Europe is way bigger than this.” Regina says as she parks in front.

The front of the cabin is rare in its distinct triangle frame—similar to the triangle cutter people use at the bar when they’re playing billiards. Inside the frame are eight fixed framed windows, four piled on top and four piled below in perfect sequence. Catra can see the chandelier greeting them with its bright light, giving her an easy peek at the fireplace on the left of the living room. She sees smoke come out from the chimney and knows the house preheated for their arrival.

Regina smiles at her. “I have a grounds keeper who takes care of the cabin when our family is away, I asked him to put a fire on when we got close so everything would be all warmed up for us. Come on, let’s head inside, we don’t want to be out with the bears.”

“Bears?” Scorpia is suddenly moving faster than Catra’s ever seen her. “Can we get the bags in the morning when it’s less dark and terrifying?”

“Yeah, I have blankets and some spare clothes for bed.”

They trudge through the snow like the city kids they are, almost toppling over more than a couple times, but they eventually do make it inside. Catra is instantly hit with warmth and feels safe enough to hang her coat up on the rack while ditching her beanie.

“There are six rooms, you can pick which one,” Regina says distractedly. “I am going to my room to fish for my alloys.” She scurries up the steps and leaves them alone to gawk around at the polished wood and brick.

Catra lounges on the sofa and hears Scorpia’s phone vibrating from the table. It’s been going off a lot like that, on the drive over Catra can’t count how many times the vibration woke her up. Thinking of her interrupted sleep reminds her how exhausted she is so she forces herself not to pass out on the couch and stands up with a sleepy wobble. “Hey, I’m going up to bed.”

Scorpia barely looks up from her phone. “Okay, goodnight!”

Catra grunts “goodnight” and goes into the first room she finds before knocking out above the sheets.

_ Two _

Catra’s heard that when people don’t rebel during their adolescence it follows them into adulthood. Following in the sense that one day some thirty year old man is partying at all hours of the day, neglecting all responsibility. But she guesses it can also be known as a mid-life crisis.

Catra’s acted out far too many times to count so it surprises when out of the blue she’s thinking about getting her nipples, of all things, pierced. It’s a fleeting thought but a thought nonetheless. She’d usually text Adora when she randomly comes up with these ideas but things between them are weird and this seems a little too personal than what Adora would ever want to sign up for. So she texts the person who has become her diary.

_ Horde Scum: thinking of getting my nipples pierced _

It’s alarming how quick Glimmer responds.

_ Sparkles: do it. _

_ Horde Scum: wow, you have worse impulse control than I do _

_ Horde Scum: it was just a thought, I don’t even know if it would look good _

_ Sparkles: babe you’re almost as hot as I am _

Catra rolls her eyes but can’t stop herself from smiling.

_ Sparkles: but seriously, anything looks good on you and it’s kind of annoying _

_ Horde Scum: more annoying than you using my shampoo last week? _

_ Sparkles: lmao _

_ Sparkles: I forgot mine and Scorpia has this weird floral scent Perfuma gave her that messes with my allergies and I’m convinced Entrapta has some weird chemical in her bottle [crying emoji] _

_ Horde Scum: it’s coconut _

_ Sparkles: oh lol [shrug emoji] _

10

The next morning they get up around 10 o’clock to start unloading the bags from the truck. Regina keeps inside, something about not being equipped for physical labor, and Entrapta grabs her gadgets from the trunk before scurrying back inside to tinker. This leaves Catra and Scopia alone by the car as they start with the lighter bags piled on top of the heavy ones.

Catra huffs, “stupid bags, stupid snow, stupid mountains—“

“You okay? You normally don’t start ranting about stupid things until at least noon.”

Catra gives up trying to pull out Regina’s makeup case and sits on the trunk ledge. “Regina wants me to go skiing with her today.”

“That sounds fun!”

“It’s too cold to do anything,” Catra wraps her arms tighter around her body.

Entrapta comes barreling back to the truck. “Don’t mind me, just forgot one of my bags.” Catra pulls her by the fur lined hood of her coat before she can run off again.

“Not so fast Miss Gadget, you’re helping us with the rest of these bags. If I have to be cold and miserable then you do too.”

“It’s not so bad,” Scorpia says, “give it a chance and I bet you’ll—“ her phone starts going off again and Catra has to ask.

“What’s going on?”

Scorpia starts. “What do you mean?”

“Your phone. It hasn’t stopped going off since we got here. Is something up?”

Entrapta nods.

Scorpia shakes her head.

“Okay, I’m getting some seriously mixed signals here. Is everyone alright? Do we need to head back so we can—“

“No!” Scorpia lowers her voice when a couple hikers look their way. “...no, okay, you came here to have time away from everything and that’s what you’re going to get. Nothing's going to ruin this weekend. You can count on me!”

Catra blinks owlish. “Yeah okay...can you carry this? I’m still jet lagged.”

“It was only a three hour drive you baby,” Regina says, overhearing the short end of their conversation as she walks over dressed to the nine in her hot pink ski get up. She nudges Catra in the shoulder in passing. “Come on, let’s go hit the slopes.”

Scorpia gives her an encouraging smile so Catra pushes off the trunk. “Fine, but I have never been skiing a day in my life so please don’t kill me.”

“Yeah we’ll take it easy, let’s get our ski’s and then try out the chair lift. There’s a great view I want you to see and the line gets pretty long so it’s good to go early.”

Catra asks, “you guys coming?”

“We’ll meet you down there, just wanna get these bags inside and maybe get some breakfast.” Scorpia says.

“Alright,” Catra nods to Regina “my delicate life is in your hands.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

_ Three _

Catra tries not to think about the crestfallen expression Adora has when she finds out about the racing gig she does with Scorpia and Entrapta on the side. It wasn’t intentional, her not inviting Adora, and she knows how much they both enjoy competition, but Catra doesn’t know how to act around her anymore. She could do it in highschool when it was just a crush but then, like the changing of leaves in fall, her crush changed. And it was easy during the years of their fallout, easy to focus on the pain and rage, misguided and directed at Adora, but now all the rough ends have been shaved away leaving behind polished wood—smooth and sanded. There is no more hate to boil, instead something else stews.

Catra had fooled herself to think she’d ever hated Adora.

“Hey, sorry that took so long.”

Regina smiles up at her as Catra joins her in the seat across from her in the busy library. “No worries. Your friends can join us if you want.” She nods her head to the other side of the room where some blonde keeps glancing their way; anything but discrete.

“Nah, they probably aren’t your type of crowd.” Catra admits, taking out her textbook and notes.

Regina clucks her tongue, crossing her arms as she leans in closer. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re all pink and rich,” Catra frowns, “actually you do remind me of one friend. But you still wouldn’t have anything in common with her.”

“Humor me.”

“Okay...what do you do on Friday nights?”

“Last week I went on a shopping spree in Montreal with my friends. Just some last minute holiday shopping.”

Catra shakes her head. “See? That isn’t something normal people do on a Friday night.”

Regina giggles. “I’m just fucking with you, we went to that diner across from campus. The bread sticks are good.”

Catra actually smiles. “Okay, you got me, maybe you do have something in common with my friends...we’re having a movie night Friday at my apartment if you’re up for it.” She doesn’t normally get along with people right away but Regina seems to be hiding something beneath her pearls and Catra’s curious to see.

Regina agrees, “I’ll bring grilled salmon.”

Catra almost regrets the invitation before Regina snorts—

“Just kidding, I’ll pick up some ranch Doritos.”

11

In her defense, she told Regina she has never been skiing a day in her life. 

After they get their skiing gear on Regina teaches her the basics, just how to move around enough so she can get out of the way if anyone comes towards her at full speed. And once Catra is able to go five minutes without falling Regina takes them to the ski chair lift; it’s still pretty early, close to noon, so the line isn’t too long. And Catra has to admit the view is pretty nice up here, almost makes up for the biting cold and numbing of her toes. Almost.

“Okay,” Regina says as their chair begins to touch the ground, “and now you just slip off nice and easy. Try not to jump down, but do more of a gentle push forward so you don’t go barreling down the mountain.”

Catra gulps. “Barreling...that sounds bad.”

“Alright, let’s go, I want to show you the ramp. They’ve got some good skiers today who love doing tricks.” Regina gets off the lift with the gentle push she described while Catra clutches at the seat and backs out. “Catra! You’re supposed to let go!” She tries to reach out but the lift is already turning Catra around and sending her back up the mountain.

“I panicked!”

Regina calls out between her fit of laughter, “I’ll wait for you down here!”

She hadn’t done it on purpose, but she has to admit she enjoys seeing the view for a second time. Growing up she’d always climb to the highest place of every tree, roof, fire escape, just restless to climb. Looking up at the stars, the roads lit by streetlights, Catra used to think she lived at the top of the world. How foolish she was to think the Horde, of all places, was the best the world had to offer.

Catra breaks from her revere when she spots something below the lift. She’s pretty high up, to the point that it’s kind of hard to identify someone from down there but there’s no mistaking it. Someone jumps into the bushes on the side of the ski slope just as she turns her head in their direction.

“Seahawk?” Catra rubs her eyes mumbling, “I’m more jet lagged than I thought.”

_ Four _

“Yo,” Catra greets Glimmer at the door. “What took so long? I almost thought about watching it without you.”

Glimmer huffs, dumping a bag of snacks on Catra’s coffee table. “The stupid bridge was up again.”

“I told you—”

“You know I’m bad with directions!”

Catra plops down next to her on the couch and doesn’t dare argue; it’s an endless battle. Instead, she logs into Scorpia’s Netflix account and starts playing  _ Black Mirror: Bandersnatch _ . It’s a show Rogelio told them about a couple weeks ago, something about being able to control what the main character does and decide the ending of the show.

Glimmer grabs the remote and hits pause. “Wait, I need to talk to you about something.”

“What’s up?”

Glimmer takes a breath. “I need you to stop avoiding Adora.”

Catra tenses. “...Glimmer.”

“I know,” she says in a hush “I’m asking a lot from you and I get that it hurts but you’re both my best friends so it’s hard seeing you two miserable. She misses you and I know you miss her too.”

Catra digs her claws into the shoulder of the couch. “I just...I don’t know how to act around her anymore.”

“Just act how you did before, nothing special.” Glimmer waits a moment before saying, “I know you’re trying to move on but by protecting yourself you’re hurting her. I know you love her too much not to have her in your life so...I’m not saying suck it up because your situation isn’t that simple but, can you at least try? For Adora.”

Catra closes her eyes but nods. “Okay.”

For Adora.

* * *

Movie night is nothing short of a disaster. Scorpia gets nightmares just by looking at the  _ cover  _ of the movie Catra originally picks out so they have to go with some lame slasher film. She doesn’t understand how anyone is buying this crap; even Glimmer, her diary, her confidant, dare she say her equal, is jumping at the ill timed scares.

When another kill scene comes up, with blood so fake Catra swears it may be ketchup, she goes to whisper something snarky to Regina but the blonde is clutching the throw pillow for dear life. So Catra keeps it to herself and tries to focus on the movie until she gets bored again by the poor graphics. She looks around the room instead, only two people seem unaffected by the film; Mermista, who’s close to falling asleep, and Adora.

Catra hesitates, thumb flicking back and forth on Adora’s contact name. She realizes now just how right Glimmer is; Catra can’t recall a time in her childhood when she  _ hesitated  _ to just strike up a random conversation with Adora. So she shakes off whatever nerves she has left over and takes a leap.

_ Catra: this movie sucks _

She feels like she needs to defend herself.

_ Catra: I promise this isn’t from my collection but the one I picked had a cover so frightening it gave Scorpia nightmares so we had to change it last minute _

For a moment Adora doesn’t respond which is dumb because Catra can see her across the room just staring at her phone like the idiot she is. Catra rolls her eyes and goes for another tactic, something she knows will get her attention.

_ Catra: come on, don’t tell me you’re actually buying any of this. Has your time with Sparkles made you soft? _

It elicits an immediate response. And for a while it’s nice, they haven’t randomly texted each other in so long but they easily fall back into their banter. But then Adora’s passive aggressively bashing Regina for reasons Catra can’t even begin to understand. And Catra tries to smooth it over, makes a joke about how she and Glimmer became friends even though she once thought Sparkles was soft; and it’s getting back to the safe place Catra needs it to be at. Then Adora’s joking back and calling her crazy; this is fine. This is the way it’s always been, nothing new.

_ Catra: lol I think we established that after I egged your house after our fight _

But then Adora’s texting things like—

_ Adora: maybe I like a little crazy _

Things that make Catra foolishly hope for the situation to be different.

_ Catra: lol whatever _

12

Eventually Catra does get down from the ski lift and spends most of the day trying not to bust her ass on the slopes. Regina is a good teacher though and catches her wherever she starts to tip over; she only let her fall once as revenge for making her have to wait for Catra while she went back to the mountaintop on the ski lift.

Scorpia and Entrapta catch up with them around 1 o’clock and take up skiing lessons from Regina too. It gives Catra time to catch her breath and watch her friends get tripped up in the snow just as she did. Scorpia is the best out of the two of them, no surprise, and naturally glides on the snow.

“Is there anything to eat around here?” Catra asks when her stomach growls.

Regina nods. “Yeah, inside the lodge, they have a couple food places lined up. I’m actually hungry too.”

“Hey,” Catra calls out so Scorpia can hear from where she’s helping Entrapta with her form “we’re getting some food if you two are hungry!”

“We ate before we came but we’ll see you at the cabin!”

Catra shrugs. “Can I drop this equipment off now? This ski suit is as heavy as it looks.”

“You should keep it on, it’ll get us to the cafeteria faster and the sun drops faster up here.”

They ski over to the lodge and drop their ski’s off in some storage room before going to the cafeteria. They settle for a large pizza with pepperoni and get one of the booths near the window so they can keep an eye out for the sun. It’s setting but there’s enough light to guide them back to the cabin so they decide to stay for a couple more minutes.

“So, did your alloys work?”

Regina gently pokes at her face, wincing. “Yeah, I can barely tell I have a black eye when it’s on but the pain is still there.”

“About that...I want to apologize for Adora. I wasn’t going to, I thought she’d do it for herself but...I guess I just don’t know her well enough these days. But I know she’s not like that, I’m usually the one to punch first and ask questions later. I just don’t know what’s up with her.”

“Come on, Catra. You’re a lot of things but dense is not one of them.”

“Okay?”

Regina rolls her eyes. “She’s into you.”

Catra feels like she’s been punched in the chest, the air leaves her lungs and she scrambles to suck it back up. In the madness, she laughs. “You think Adora has feelings for me?”

“It’s not so crazy.”

Catra shakes her head. “She’s straight. She hasn’t dated anyone...ever. But in highschool she went to prom with this asshole, Tucker.”

“That was four years ago.”

“No, even if she’s not straight—”

“She isn’t.”

“We’re just friends.” Catra has spent years convincing herself of this fact. She convinces herself just like she seems to convince Regina.

_ Five _

It’s close to 4pm, near the time the campus starts closing most of their stores, and Catra’s waiting for Regina to take her order at a coffee spot on campus so they can go over some nonsense Dr. Stark went over in class today. Catra isn’t into coffee so she orders a fruit smoothie with some chocolate chip cookies to give her energy to get through this brainstorming session. She’s flipping through the pages in the book that’ll hopefully help her outline this assignment when a freshman (she can tell by the hope in his eyes) walks up to her with his fingers knotting together nervously.

“Uhm, excuse me? You’re friends with Adora right?”

Catra says her practiced speech. “I can’t get you an autograph or a picture.”

“Oh no, it’s not that—”

“I can’t get you free tickets to any of her games for friends you have who don’t go to school here.”

He says in a rush, “I actually wanted to see if you could give me some advice about asking her out.”

Catra frowns. “Why’re you asking me?”

“You’re her best friend, right? She’s always with you at parties and school events so I figured you’d know what she’s into. Can you help me out?”

Catra would normally end this with a remark with just enough snark and aggression to leave the overzealous underclassmen running with his tail between his legs but it  _ is _ October so she’s feeling generous.

“What does Adora like?” Catra asks, leaning back into the stiff splintered coffee house chair; it squeaks as she shifts to and fro, weighing out her options. “She  _ loves  _ clowns.”

The underclassmen blinks owlishly. He gapes, eyebrows knitting together into an innocent frown; she almost feels bad for the kid. A few more years, enough time to grow out that peach fuzz, and he could really be something on the dating scene.

“Clowns?”

Catra isn’t sure if he’s buying it but still refuses to show her cards. “She’s  _ really  _ into them if you know what I’m saying.”

“Really?” The underclassmen is still a little baffled but Catra notices the pink tinting his cheeks.

_ No way _ .

“Yeah,” Catra runs with it full heartedly now. “You know what would be great? If you wore clown shoes and showed up with one of those flowers that sprays water in people’s faces. She’d get a kick out of it. She once told me that’s how she wished her prom-posal would’ve gone in high school.”

“I don’t have clown shoes—”

_ Damn. _

“But I do have a red nose that makes a noise when you squeeze it.”

“Yes. Wear that.”

The underclassmen looks energized. “Great! Thanks for the advice, I think the theatre club might be able to help me out with the flower; I’ve gotta go before they pack everything up. Thanks again!”

Catra nods, whispering “no, thank you” under her breath as he practically runs out of the store.

When Regina comes back from taking her order she’s a bit startled by the outstretched smile on Catra’s face. “I don’t like that smile.”

Catra smiles wider.

“I changed my mind. Tell me everything.”

_ Six _

Catra’s scrolling through her Instagram mindlessly after posting a picture with her track team because apparently Glimmer said she hasn’t posted in ages. She’s just getting done watching some video of Seahawk catching someone's car on fire when she sees Adora repost an old picture. Adora’s lounging in her school hoodie with her hair pulled back into her iconic ponytail; the picture catches her laughing off guard. Her cheeks are stained red from laughing so hard and the sight takes Catra’s breath away.

Catra likes it.

13

“Can I be blunt?”

“This whole time you haven’t been?” Catra jokes.

Regina smiles naturally and stops them at the cabin door. She steps up to Catra, so close Catra can see the freckles littering her nose. “I think you’re hot.”

“Wow, talk dirty to me.”

Regina hides her face. “Yeah that was pretty bad.”

Catra pries the hands away from her face. “It’s fine, I’ve heard worse. Now what did you really want to say?”

“I like you, okay. Do you  _ see _ me? People are usually tripping over themselves but you’re all aloof, and oblivious, and—”

“I am not oblivious.”

“You’re distracted.” Regina corrects. “You’re into Anna.”

“Adora—and no, I’m not.” Catra looks away. “I used to be for a while but she doesn’t feel the same and I’m done chasing after someone who doesn’t want me.”

“So?”

“I’m over her.”

“You promise?”

Catra’s breath hitches and suddenly she stumbles on her words “I...there’s nothing there.”

Regina seems satisfied with her answer. “Then prove it. Meet me in my room when you’re done washing up; I don’t want you tracking mud on my Nylon rug. And get some wine from the cellar.”

“And people say I’m bossy.”

“What’s wrong with knowing what I want and taking it?”

It’s refreshing, and liberating, to feel wanted. The difference is striking—Adora does everything for everybody but when it comes to her own desires she never acts. Catra has carried the load of wanting for Adora, and for herself, but she’s tired. If Regina is willing to carry her weight then who is Catra to deny her?

Catra didn’t see much of love or relationships growing up in the Horde. Weaver kept to herself without the company of men, or women, and so Catra only caught glimpses on the street. She isn’t sure she knows how to love or be loved but she thinks she can do it as long as she has help. As long as she’s not carrying it all on her back, trembling from the weight. But now, staring at Regina, Catra feels lighter.

“Nothing,” Catra finally says “there’s absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you want.”

_ Seven _

When Adora kisses her in the bathroom Catra kisses back because it’s  _ Adora _ and no matter how much she tries to deny it, she’s still in love with her and she doesn’t think it’s ever going to change. The kiss is perfect, and it frightens her how it feels like everything. And Adora wants it so much; she’s never seen her want anything. 

She’s pulling at Catra’s hair while she runs her nails down Adora’s thighs. But when Adora says her name, in a hushed whine, her words are slurred. Ice shoots down Catra’s spine and she quickly removes herself before she bursts into tears.

“I’ll get Glimmer to take you home,” she barely manages to say.

Adora doesn’t look up, she keeps her eyes in her lap while her fingers trace the marks left behind by Catra’s claws—suddenly she feels sick. 

“Okay.”

Catra finds Glimmer just as she’s coming up the stairs and Glimmer can tell right away something is wrong. “Catra…”

“I have to go, Glim, I can’t…” she struggles to breathe let alone speak. “Adora’s in the bathroom can you make sure she gets back safe? Because I just can’t anymore.”

Glimmer grabs her hands to stop Catra from clawing at her scalp. “What happened?”

Catra shakes her head, crying. “I shouldn’t have...I’m sorry...”

Glimmer doesn’t ask about it again, but she does stay with Catra until she calms down enough to clean up her face. Glimmer shoots a text to Perfuma and gets her to help Catra with carrying Scopia, Entrapta, and a slumped Regina to the car.

“Do you need me to help you get them home?”

Catra shakes her head, voice hoarse “no I’m good just, go check on Adora, please.”

Glimmer says, “text me when you get home.”

Catra promises to do so, distracting herself from the pain of this night by getting her friends back safe.

14

Catra finally dumps the heavy snow gear on the coat rack and leans her boots up against the door. She moves over to the fire and rubs her hands together to get circulation going before she goes to the wine cellar that’s conspicuously hidden beneath the foot of the stairs. She’s not into wine, more into liquor that burns her throat on the way down, so she randomly picks something red and heads back to the living room.

On the way back to the living room she notices a note left behind from Scorpia addressed to her taped to the table.

_ Hey wildcat! Everything’s fine! Entrapta and I made a lot of progress on the model for our next race so we want to keep the momentum going. We’re not far, just a clearing a few minutes out from the cabin testing the speed of these boosters. Don’t wait up. _

_ -Scorps _

Everything is not fine. The sun set an hour ago; yesterday Scorpia was too afraid to carry the bags into the house when it was dark but today she’s testing boosters with Entrapta in the dead of the night? Alarm bells instantly go off and before she knows it, Catra is pulling her coat back on even though her body protests at the weight. She clips her snow boots back on and swings the door open without a real plan.

Her stomach does an annoying leap because on the other side of the door, with her hand posed to knock, is Adora. She startles at the door swinging open but looks relieved when she sees Catra.

“Catra,” Adora takes the breath from her lungs—ripping at her soul like a dementor in the night; it’s terrifying, and dangerous, and  _ thrilling _ . She smiles, and that’s all it takes for Catra to backslide. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” She doesn’t mean to sound rude but she’s tired from playing in the snow all day, she’s worried about the cryptic note Scorpia left, and she doesn’t have the energy for whatever made Adora come all the way up here.

Adora’s holding a black box in her hand and it’s just big enough to fit in her palm. She slips the box in her pocket, not trying to keep it hidden just giving her hands the freedom to talk. Catra knows this is going to be a long conversation; it always is when Adora talks with her hands because it leads to rambling. But Adora doesn’t ramble, her question is curt.

“Does Regina know you at all?”

Catra frowns. “What…”

“She invited you to Mount Etheria when the snow’s at its worst. You  _ hate _ the cold. Look, you’re shivering even when you have a thousand pound snow coat on,” Adora laughs.

Catra huffs, “how did you even get up here? This is a private resort.”

Adora looks away. “I may have...punched the guy at the front gate.”

“You punched the security guard? Adora what the hell! You can’t keep punching people to solve your problems, we’re not in the Horde anymore.”

“Sometimes I wish we were.”

Catra’s face twists. “...Adora, why are you here?”

“Can we talk?” Adora asks with a slight tremble in her voice.

The aurora sets over them, basking them in blue and green hues—painting them in the act. Catra digs her nails into the frame of the door; she can’t take the way Adora’s looking at her right now. It’s the same look she’s seen far too many times in a mirror of blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got a break from classes with this short holiday weekend so I finished this up for you guys. Sorry if it was a little confusing going back and forth but I didn’t want to waste two chapters on this when I could squeeze it into one. Let me know what you guys think about the plot and everything (possibly what Scorpia’s up to).
> 
> Next chapter will be picking up from Adora the night after the party where Glimmer sets her straight as Catra’s best friend and then how Adora get to Mount Etheria along with her conversation with Catra.
> 
> If you want, let me know what section number was your favorite. I like section Two with Glimmer and Catra texting about Entrapta's shampoo.
> 
> Happy thanksgiving (holidays)!


	4. Part II - A

(Part II - A)

9

BU is constantly growing as students come from all walks of life to give themselves room to grow in an ever changing environment. The science department received an additional floor to their building, meaning more laboratory rooms for classes and student research opportunities. Other departments like the School of Business and the Arts don’t get building additions because their courses are a lot more flexible (students can have a lecture in any room but the same can’t be said for mixing hazardous chemicals) but they do receive additional grants.

It’s nearing the end of the first semester and the school is adding on to the gardens that line the sidewalks of the student apartments; clipped grass and saw dust will linger long after the work is complete. The next step in their garden project is to transport all the manure over to the apartment complexes on eight wheeled trucks—the ones that make noise even when they’ve stopped at a red light.

The trucks are backing up, ready to dump the fertilizer on the freshly planted rose beds, startling Adora awake. She nearly falls to the floor in her scramble to shut the window and block out the noise. It’s muffled now but still just as loud; the beeping of the truck matches the pounding of her head as the alcohol from the night before takes its toll.

There’s a glass of water, with a sticky note stuck to the front, sitting on her bedside table. Adora gulps the entire glass and comes up thirsty despite her best efforts. She’s contemplating braving the walk to the kitchen to replenish her glass when she stops short after reading the note.

_ Come see me when you’re feeling up to it. We need to talk. _

_ -Glimmer _

A chill creeps up her spine, but her lips feel like they’re burnt to a crisp. A memory lost—no, not lost, distorted—tugs at the forefront of her mind, but something is keeping it at bay. Something’s protecting it—her. And that’s just what the brain does; when someone has a traumatic experience the brain often blocks it off by distorting the memory; in rare situations people have gaps in their memory with alternate personality disorders who step in to the line of fire.

Adora sits at the edge of her bed and tries to remember, but all she gets are flashes of yellow and the sound of a leaky faucet. The chill creeps down her waist and makes itself at home in her thighs until she rubs at them to rid the cold. Adora stops halfway through the motions, she can feel the grooves beneath her fingers and when she looks down she sees four jagged welts running down each top of her thigh.

Then the freight train hits.

“...no,” Adora shakes her head until she gets dizzy in the head. She remembers the kiss—Catra pulling away. “No, no, no…” she whispers until it becomes a shout and then a choked out moan into a wrenching sob. She slides down to the floor and wraps herself up in her arms but she still feels cold. “I’ve ruined everything...it’s all my fault...she’s never gonna talk to me again…”

Glimmer barges in during her mantra and it startles Adora enough to make her cease. She expects Glimmer to drop down and wrap arms around her like she had the night before but she’s met with more ice.

“You’re up then.” Glimmer tosses her a bottle of water but Adora doesn’t make a move to catch it so it goes rolling underneath her bed. “We need to talk.”

Adora pushes her hair back, she lost her hair tie when she was tossing and turning in bed and doesn’t have the energy to look for it. “Glimmer, it’s too early for this…”

“Then I’ll make it fast.” Glimmer sits on the chair near Adora’s desk and levels with her. “I love you, you know you’re like a sister to me and I’d do almost anything for you...but enough is enough. You have to let her go.”

This is the last thing she needs to hear. Adora shakes her head like a child afraid of hearing the truth about Saint Nick.

“You’re hurting her, Adora.”

And she laughs at that because, “I’m hurting! You think I like not knowing what my best friend is up to or not having the luxury of calling her out of the blue just to talk?”

“You kissed her!” Glimmer shouts. “Do you even know why? Was it just something you wanted to try?”

“No, I...I don’t know—“

“Exactly. You don’t even know. You can’t play with people’s emotions like that.”

“She’s the one who said it was a mistake.”

“You were drinking and she thought she was taking advantage of you,” Glimmer slips up in an impossible way. “Catra  _ loves  _ you. She’s been hung up on you since the moment I met her, and I wasn’t close with her at first so I didn’t care about the pining but it has to stop. Do you know how much she’s cried over you? At first I felt bad for you because you lost your best friend but it’s time for me to start protecting mine. You need—“

“What did you say?”

Glimmer blinks once and then twice. “Oh shit…”

“Catra...she, she loves me?”

Glimmer groans, “damn it, I owe DT fifty bucks.”

“Like,” Adora licks her lips and ignores Glimmer’s comment for now (because like, one thing at a time) “like, she loves me as a friend?”

“Catra’s right, you are an idiot.” Glimmer frowns. “She ditched Regina, after you punched her, to see if you were okay. She holds herself back because she’s worried she’ll be too much for you...she wants you, even though she knows you’ll never want her back.”

Want. 

Adora hates how Glimmer automatically assumes she knows the truth and she hates how she has no answers. It has nothing to do with Catra and everything to do with her. No one has ever asked Adora what she wants—she’s never thought about it. There is always something going on; with classes and all the sports she’s a part of so there is hardly any room to think about herself.

When she and Catra were younger they’d stay out late and climb the ladder of the old water tower along the tracks leading out of the Horde. Everything could be seen from the top; the top of the world they’d called it. Adora remembers thinking,  _ if the world does end, I want Catra to be by my side. _

Adora scrambles off the floor and grabs her phone from her dresser. Glimmer stops ranting when she sees the phone pressed in Adora’s hand.

“...Adora.”

_ Adora: hey I just want to check in to see if you got back safe after last night _

_ Adora: can we talk when you get situated? _

Glimmer snatches her phone when she starts to write up another text. “If she’s not answering my messages then she sure as hell isn’t gonna answer yours, Adora.”

“Give me my phone.”

“No. I’m cutting you off,” Glimmer begs “just give her the weekend. You owe her that much.” She leaves with Adora’s phone and closes the door behind her. She hears Glimmer and Bow talking in a hushed whisper but it’s not worth trying to listen.

Adora sits back on the edge of her bed and stares at the door. Every moment with Catra plays out in her mind; every missed signal, every lingering touch, every awkward hug...it all builds up until it’s tumbling down and Adora doesn’t know how to bring it back together.

“What…” she grips at the bed until her comforter clumps up in her hands. “...what do I…” she can’t even finish asking herself a simple question. And it’s simple, right? People ask themselves it all the time and are quick to come up with an easy answer so why is this so hard? If she can’t spit out the words then maybe Glimmer’s right about her.

Maybe she needs to let go.

10

Adora sleeps through most of the day and sulks when she’s awake. She leaves the lights off with the blinds closed and reflects. Her finger grazes her lip; her body heats up uncomfortably (wonderfully) when she thinks about the kiss. It sticks with her. Every sensation; from how pliable Catra had been, letting Adora bend her to her will, to the soft smell of grape from the kush Catra had smoked a few hours before with Perfuma.

When she thinks about Catra her stomach does a weird flip. It’s never done that before. Her palms have never gotten sweaty just thinking about maybe trying to text Catra again. Adora hates it and loves it at the same time; hates how vulnerable it makes her feel but loves the warmth that washes over her when she thinks of hugging Catra again. It’s been so long since they’ve hugged.

Adora pulls her head out from under the covers. She takes a deep breath before looking into the mirror resting at her work desk. “What...what do you want?” The mirror doesn’t answer but its face caves in revealing little by little with each crack, until suddenly—it shatters.

Adora gets out of bed with purpose. She gets on any old clothes she finds hanging around (a large basketball hoodie and some blue jeans) and right before she leaves, Adora kneels under her lofted bed to grab a tiny black box from an unlabeled bin; she cradles it in the pocket of her hoodie before she’s running out the door. On the other side she finds a group of her closest friends all lounging around in the living room.

Glimmer is glaring at Mermista and doesn’t even look when Adora slowly walks over to them like a startled deer. 

“Don’t Mermista.” Glimmer warns.

“Why not? She has a right to know.”

Adora pulls on a beanie to brave the cold, she asks “know what?”

“Nothing.”

Mermista rolls her eyes. “Catra’s going to Mount Etheria with that weird blonde chick who talks about pink way too much. They’re driving down as we speak.”

“Mermista!”

“What? It’s not like it was a secret or anything.”

Glimmer crosses her arms. “Catra told me she was going up there to get a break, she doesn’t need any of this drama.”

Adora feels her stomach toss but not in the same way it does when she thinks of Catra. “She’s with Regina?” (She knew she was forgetting something).

“Yes, Catra texted me, after I threatened her enough times, and told me she was going with Regina to Mount Etheria at one of her family cabins. She’s taking the time she needs and you should respect that.” Glimmer says it with conviction, and it’s funny because Adora remembers a time where the roles were reversed; a time where Glimmer was giving Catra the shovel talk to protect Adora. But Adora didn’t want her protecting her back then and she’s sure Catra feels the same way—despite how different they are, Adora is sure that her emotions are intertwined with Catra’s by a fate stronger than a string of red.

Bow looks stricken. “Maybe we should give it a few days?”

Mermista scoffs, “what, and let Regina swoop in and take her girl?”

“Adora doesn’t even like—“

“Do you see the way she looks at Catra? Like she put the stars in the sky all on her own.” Mermista says, “and you can’t speak for Adora, you won’t even let her get a word in to defend herself. You just keep yelling over her, telling her what she needs to do based on what you think.”

Perfuma mutters, “guys.”

“I don’t need to, her actions are doing a pretty good job proving me right.”

“...guys…”

“Do you even know how you sound right now?”

“Guys!” Perfuma cuts out over the conversation, “where did Adora go?”

They stop arguing long enough to realize that Adora is no longer in the room. Glimmer pushes Mermista, gaining a  _ ‘rude’  _ in the process as she goes to check her room. She curses when she comes up empty, “she has her phone! Fuck…”

Bow frowns, “uh, please tell me she didn’t take Sea Hawk as a hostage.”

Glimmer spins around with a glare and points an accusing finger at Mermista. “You planned this! You made up a fake argument so Sea Hawk could sneak out with Adora and take her to Mount Etheria!”

“And it worked,” Mermista grins.

“Why would you do this?”

Mermista shrugs. “I’m a romantic, and I’m sick of seeing them both sulk around and act all awkward when the other one is nearby. It’s ruining the group dynamic.”

“This will ruin Catra’s existence if Adora says  _ one _ wrong thing.” Glimmer says.

“Tell me you don’t see the way they look at each other.”

Glimmer sighs, “of course I do...but Adora, she doesn’t even know what she wants.”

“I don’t know,” Bow whispers with a grin pulling at his lips. “It kind of seems like she does.”

Glimmer slaps him light on the chest, almost pouting. “Don’t you dare get my hopes up, Bow.”

Bow grabs her shoulders and shakes. “Adora knows what she wants. So let’s go help her get it.” He pulls away and holds out his hand for a fist bump, “best friend squad road trip?”

Glimmer bites her lip before giving in. She bumps her fist with his. “Fine, but if she makes Catra cry one more time I swear I’m returning the AirPods I bought her for Christmas.”

11

Adora manages to sneak away with Sea Hawk around 8 o’clock. He insists on driving and she is a little shaky so she doesn’t put up much of a fight. It’s not the bad shaking, but the rush of adrenaline; like when she’s facing off against an opponent on the basketball court.

“Thanks for helping me with this,” Adora says, clutching onto the black box.

Sea Hawk grins, “no problem.”

Sea Hawk is one of those college students who could have graduated a couple years ago but decides to stick around for whatever reason. Adora isn’t super close to him but he’s always fun to be around and he gets Mermista flustered which seems like an impossible feat so she gives him some credit.

“Nervous?”

Adora releases a shaky sigh. “Of course I am, I’m about to confess to my best friend and I still have no idea what I’m going to say to her—hey!” She reaches for something to steady herself as Sea Hawk makes a sharp right and pulls them into the shoulder on the highway. Adora’s heart is beating out of her chest as she holds onto the dashboard for dear life. “What the hell!”

He turns on the hazard lights before looking back at her. “Mermista told me to get you where you need to go but only if you know what you’re going to say to Catra when we get there.”

Adora digs her thumbs into the black box. “Look, can you just get me there? We’re wasting time.”

“You’ll be wasting Catra’s time if you don’t have something planned out.” Sea Hawk frowns. “Can you really afford to mess this up?”

Adora’s sick of everyone trying to make decisions for her. 

“What do you suggest is good enough? Hey Catra, sorry that I didn’t notice your feelings for me even though I’m supposed to be your best friend? Sorry you can’t be yourself around me, that you have to hide your hobbies and avoid getting too close to me? Sorry that it took me so long to realize I can barely breathe when you walk into a room? Because who cares! I’m probably too late, she’s with Regina on Mount Etheria and they’re…” her throat clamps up with something thick but she swallows it down like a dry pill. “Maybe it doesn’t matter. What am I even doing, holding onto this thing?” She turns to toss the box but Sea Hawk grabs her arm.

“No!” Sea Hawk looks nervous as he gets them back on the highway. “I was only supposed to make sure you were confident in what you wanted, not to talk you out of it.”

Adora sinks in her seat. “Maybe we should just turn around. If Catra’s happy with Regina then I shouldn’t stand in her way.”

Sea Hawk laughs. “Adora, Catra left Regina on the floor after you punched her to check to see if you were okay. There’s nothing standing in your way except for you.” Adora stays awake the entire ride up to Mount Etheria with that on her mind.

The black box keeps her grounded when her thoughts begin to stray.

12

When they get to Mount Etheria everything is closed for the night, and Adora has no idea where she can find Catra (even if the dumb security guard does let them in). She was, however, relieved to learn that Scorpia and Entrapta are also on the trip (it shushes her nightmares of Catra and Regina eloping in the woods) but Scorpia isn’t disclosing their location. Adora can wait it out, just walk around the resort in the morning and try looking for Catra but it would save a lot of time if Scorpia would just cooperate. But Sea Hawk and the others are blowing up Scorpia’s phone and Adora knows how persistent they can be so she doesn’t worry.

“What did he say?” Adora asks. She’s leaning against Sea Hawk’s truck in the biting cold because she’s sick of sitting still.

“Still won’t let us in, but don’t worry we just need to wait for—oh okay, you’re walking away.”

“Hey,” she marches up to the security guard. He’s a skinny guy in an oversized coat with long red hair sticking out from the side of his beanie. Adora sizes him up and feels her fist swell. “Can’t you cut us a break? We’ve been driving for three hours.”

He rolls his eyes. “Listen, even if you could get inside there’s nowhere for you to go. The resort doesn’t open up until morning and you don’t own a cabin on this property. So kick rocks, ponytail.”

Adora pulls him in by the collar and punches him with only half her strength, but it’s enough to knock him down. 

“Adora!” Someone shouts but it sounds muffled—like she’s stuck underwater. Adora can feel herself sinking, and Catra isn’t here to save her, but thankfully Glimmer remembers the protocol. Glimmer forgoes any soft touches and pushes Adora until her back hits the bark of an old oak tree and suddenly she’s submerged. “What are you doing?”

“He wouldn’t let us in!”

“I have a membership! And a cabin!”

“I didn’t know that!”

Bow steps between them. “Hey guys, it’s super late and Adora just knocked out the security guard so can we get moving before someone calls the cops on us?”

“Yeah,” Mermista says, “remember Mystacor?”

“Best spring break ever,” Glimmer sings.

“Guys!” Bow exclaims. “Avoiding the police this time. Let’s move out.”

They scramble back into their cars and make it to Glimmer’s family cabin that’s a couple miles East of the resort. Time passes like a blur and the next thing she knows, Adora is mumbling a half assed goodnight to the Scooby gang and is slipping off into the first empty room she can find. She dives under the covers and cradles the black box close to her chest and lets the night take her away.

13

Adora is startled awake early in the morning by Mermista barging in her room and pulling the blanket out from under her. “Get up and get dressed. Scorpia slipped and mentioned Catra going skiing with Regina around 10 o’clock. But this is literally a ski resort so we should’ve figured that one out on our own.”

Adora rubs her eyes. “Catra hates skiing.”

“Has she ever tried it?”

“No, but it sounds like something she’d hate.”

“Astute logic, now get ready.”

Adora sinks in the bed for a couple more minutes before forcing herself up. She takes a quick shower and comes into the kitchen an hour later with breakfast on her mind.

“So, what’s the plan?” Glimmer asks when Adora plops down beside her in the only available chair.

“Breakfast.” Adora grabs a plate and stacks three waffles. She drizzles the pile with syrup and ignores the eyes on her.

“...I meant after breakfast, what’s the plan?”

“After breakfast I’ll probably get some lunch at the resort.”

“Adora.”

“I have it covered, you guys don’t have to worry.”

“How about we give Adora some space.” Perfuma suggests.

Bow pulls Glimmer out of her seat and says, “Adora, we’ll be around if you need us.” 

They pile out of the kitchen and make themselves scarce somewhere upstairs. Likely stacked up in a singular room so they can whisper about whatever they think is true about her relationship with Catra; and it’s fair in a way, she respects how they all want to protect Catra because a couple years ago they never would’ve batted an eye, but it’s none of their business. They have no right to dictate how this goes; Glimmer shouldn’t have taken her phone and Scorpia shouldn’t withheld information.

Adora tries to push through the rest of her waffles but her stomach is in knots and she isn’t sure if she can keep it down, so she wraps her plate in foil and dumps it in the fridge. She doesn’t have a plan or some grand romantic gesture—doesn’t know what she's even doing here—she just knows she wants to see Catra. No matter how this day turns out she is willing to accept whatever Catra can give her.

It’s common knowledge that Adora isn’t a “talk her feelings out” kind of person and a lot of that has to do with the harsh rules established in the Horde. She was taught to withhold emotions—that they were a burden. But that didn’t stop her and Catra from stepping out of the regulated box, paving their own paths towards a healthier future; and some may argue their relationship was far too dependent, that maybe time apart was what they needed, but if it’s true and this is the product of the healthy option—then why does Adora feel like her world is crumbling?

Adora needs some fresh air but she supposes the pine scented kind will have to do. She heaves on her large winter coat, toes on her mountain boots, and wobbles through the packed snow (it’s stiff from the air and nothing like that soft white shit they talk about in movies).

And so she does a penguin walk through the snow until she finally gets the hang of walking like a normal person. She doesn’t know where she’s going but her feet do, or maybe she’s being pulled by an invisible string of fate—something she thought to be flimsy and ragged is actually impossible to detangle. Adora feels like she’s straining against the thread, feels the pinch at her throat when it cuts into her skin as she finds Catra and Regina laughing together on the ski chair lift.

It’s fresh out of a Hallmark movie; Catra goes another round on the lift because she’s too frightened to push off while Regina laughs at the bottom and promises to meet her on the other side with open arms. And it’s so like Catra to back out at the last moment—for a second Adora can imagine herself in Regina’s shoes but something pushes her out of her dreamscape and back into the cold bite of reality. Except it’s not a metaphor and someone literally just pushed her back into a bush so hard it sends her landing on her back.

“Sea Hawk?” Adora frowns, slowly coming to when the world stops spinning around her.

“Adora!” He at least has the decency to help her up. “You need to be careful, they almost saw you! And you’re not supposed to be on this side of the resort without ski’s on.”

Adora hadn’t realized she’d been walking up to them. “Glimmer’s gear is too small for me, and so what? Who cares if they know I’m here.”

“Do you not want the element of surprise?”

“Trust me, Catra’s gonna be plenty surprised.”

Sea Hawk rubs his chin. “You need a grand gesture. You should—“

“No.”

“Hear me out.”

Adora knows she is going to regret this but she gives, “fine.”

“You find a boat,” he pauses for dramatic effect “...and then you set it on fire!”

“That doesn’t, I don’t even...that doesn’t even make sense!”

“It’s a metaphor!”

14

Adora manages to slip away from Sea Hawk when he goes looking for firewood (she doesn’t want to know) and spends the rest of the day walking the woods and taking in the sights. The wind bites at her nose, leaving behind blotches of red all over her nose and cheeks; her face is near numb (like the time she got her teeth pulled) but it feels good, a welcome distraction. But it becomes a bit too much when the sun dips below the tree line, so she heads back to Glimmer’s cabin blue in the face. 

“Adora,” Perfuma sounds scandalous as she rushes over and presses her hands on Adora’s face. It’s too much too soon, going from biting cold to such warmth, so she backs away from Perfuma’s touch but it doesn’t deter her. “Let’s get this coat off you, it’s packed with ice.” She dumps the coat on the rack and drapes a fuzzy blanket over Adora’s shoulders.

Bow walks over, his eyebrows are nearly touching—worry manipulating them as such. “Where were you? We got worried when Sea Hawk couldn’t find you.”

Adora sniffs. “I walked around, just needed...some air…” she trails off when she notices Scorpia and Entrapta on the couch nestling Holiday mugs in their damp mitts. Scorpia stands abruptly (and wow she’s taller up close) but Adora doesn’t back down.

“Hey Adora,” Scorpia’s voice is overly chipper. “Nice to see you again. Really it’s great, but I wouldn’t be cofounder of the super pal trio if I didn’t protect the crew so I have to ask..what exactly are you playing at?”

Adora rolls her eyes because  _ really this again _ ? “I don’t get why everyone is so against this.”

“Oh, so I guess my support means nothing.” Mermista mutters.

“I thought you’d all be happy for me but you’re acting like I’m the bad guy.”

“Adora,” Glimmer whispers, “we just care about Catra and we—“

“You think I’m going to hurt her. Catra’s my best friend. How could any of you think I’d ever do that to her?”

“Not on purpose, no.” Scorpia says, “but let’s be real...you’ve done plenty enough without meaning to.”

Adora flinches at the heat of Scorpia’s comment, shame—the thick kind that’s hard to swallow—builds in her throat. Was everyone just watching Adora mess up the whole time?

Mermista huffs. “You guys are overreacting.”

“Catra’s my best friend. It’s my job to overreact.” Scorpia shoots back.

“Let’s calm down, we’re all friends here.”

“If Adora wants to make a move then who are any of you to stop her?”

Scorpia laughs, “oh now she wants to make a move? What...five years later?”

“Four years and eleven months,” Entrapta corrects.

“Better late than never!”

“Catra’s finally moving on! Now is hardly the time!”

“They should—“

“Enough!” Adora shouts. “Can you all stop talking like I’m not I’m the room? And stop making decisions and assuming you know what’s best for my relationship. I am  _ sick _ of everyone telling me what to do.”

“Adora—“

“No. You’ve all done enough.” Adora throws on her coat and storms out into the night leaving behind a trail of fire.

15

Glimmer sends her a text a few minutes after her departure. Adora’s face unlocks her phone so she doesn’t have the option of ignoring it.

_ Sparkle Bomb [star emoji] : [drops a location] _

_ Sparkle Bomb [star emoji] : you’re both my best friends and I love you guys, of course I want things with you and Catra to work out. Sorry if I made it seem like I didn’t. _

Adora heaves out a breath and is surprised when she starts tearing up; she hadn’t realized how much she needed Glimmer’s support in this. Adora digs into her pocket and runs her fingers along the sharp edges of the black box one more time.

Adora plugs the address into her GPS, it’s only a five minute walk (any further and she’s sure she’d lose her nerve with every passing minute). It sends her to a distinct triangular shaped cabin that’s framed with eight fixed windows, four piled on top and four piled below in perfect sequence. It’s spectacular in design but daunting in theory, because Catra is in there with Regina living in perfect bliss and soon Adora is going to disrupt it. But she doesn’t allow her thoughts to derail her—not this time—she marches up the steps with the intention of making her presence known.

The door jerks open and Adora startles, but Catra’s on the other side of the door and suddenly everything falls into place. Catra looks frazzled, her coat is falling off her shoulders and her pupils are blown wide.

“Catra,” she hears Catra take a sharp inhale. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

Adora slips the black box back into her pocket. A laugh almost slips from her mouth, she has to ask. “Does Regina know you at all?”

“What?”

“She invited you to Mount Etheria when the snow’s at its worst. You hate the cold. Look, you’re shivering even when you have a thousand pound snow coat on.” Adora let’s a laugh slip this time at the outraged look on Catra’s face. And Adora thinks she should probably be nervous but being with Catra feels like coming home, like slipping back into a dance they’ve practiced a dozen times over in multiple life times.

“How did you even get here? This is a private resort.”

“I may have...punched the guy at the front gate.”

Catra’s jaw drops. “You punched the security guard? Adora what the hell! You can’t keep punching people to solve your problems, we’re not in the Horde anymore.”

Adora’s smile is fragile when she confesses, “sometimes I wish we were.”

“...Adora,” Catra sounds so broken it makes the thread around her neck tighten “why are you here?”

_ For you. For myself. _

“Can we talk?” Adora asks with a tremble in her voice that she blames on this damn thread. And how unfair is it, that this one string gets to decide their fate.

Catra looks back into the cabin.

“Or if you’re busy it can wait.” Adora back tracks.

“Sorry, Scorpia left a weird note and I’m worried about what they’ve gotten into. She said she’s with Entrapta testing the boosters at some clearing but she was terrified about going out at night just yesterday.”

“They’re fine, I passed them on the way up.” Adora stretches the truth but it’s worth seeing Catra’s stress alleviate.

“Okay good, I don’t have to fill a missing persons report.” Catra closes the door and steps out into the night. “What’s going on?”

“Can’t I visit my best friend without her being suspicious?”

“Scorpia‘s phone has been blowing up since we got here and now you’re suddenly at our doorstep.” Catra whispers, “it’s a three hour drive, Adora. What’s going on? Did something happen?”

“...can we maybe take a walk? I saw a clearing not too far from us.”

Catra hesitates (she’s never done that before). Usually whenever Adora needs her, Catra comes running no questions asked. And while Catra only stops for a couple of seconds, the toll it takes on Adora’s heart is significant in its cruelty.

Catra’s eyes flint back to the cabin before she shakes her head and meets Adora on the lower step. “Yeah, whatever you need.” This sounds more like the woman she knows; the one who drops everything for the people she cares about.

Adora hasn’t lost her yet.

They trudge through the snow in a comfortable silence, and it follows even when they finally reach the clearing. Adora’s coat is still packed with ice—the weight encumbers her—while Catra looks a bit more composed with her coat properly pulled over her shoulders and zipped to her chin. Her bangs have grown significantly over the years, fragments of brown brush the tip of her nose while the rest parts out the way of her mismatched eyes.

The clearing overlooks the length of Mount Etheria and it’s entirety; Adora admires the moonlight over the top of the cabins lined at the bottom of the mountain, the roofs are packed with snow and ice. Adora steps as far as the ledge allows; it’s protected by a thick picket fence and a metal rail on the other side for extra support. There’s a lone light above them (Adora thinks it’s a streetlight but she doesn’t know the correct terminology). The sky is clear, none of the wonderful auroras Sea Hawk gushed about on the ride over but Adora prefers it this way.

“What’s going on?” Catra breaks the silence. Her eyebrows are pinched with worry but she keeps her distance, and Adora finally gets what everyone means by Catra  _ holding back _ .

“I have something to tell you.”

Catra raises an eyebrow. “You drove three hours up here just because you have to tell me something?”

“It’s important, and it’s not like you were answering your phone.”

“Shit,” Catra frowns. “Sorry about that, Scorpia kind of confiscated my phone so I’ve been living in the dark as of late...what is it?”

Adora laughs out some of her nerves but they stick. “It’s actually really embarrassing...and scary, and I think there are two ways this is going to play out. But either way I’m sure you’re going to make fun of me for years to come.”

“I won’t make fun of you…unless it’s really funny so then I’ll have no choice.”

Adora groans into her hands.

“Come on,” Catra laughs. “I already know a ton of embarrassing things about you so what’s one more?”

Adora looks out from her hands; Catra’s eyes are open, her attention undivided, and Adora suddenly remembers who she’s talking to. Her best friend, the woman she confides everything to.

“Do you remember our senior prom? I went with Tucker and you went with—”

“Stuck up Cathy,” Catra nods. “She was freaking out about every little thing and Tucker was acting like an ass. Well, not acting. He was just being himself...that night was the worst.”

“I thought it was great.”

“What? How? We had to walk back because Cathy and Tucker ditched us at the gym after we—kind of ditched them on the dance floor, okay maybe that move was valid. But I was sweating through my suit by the time we got home, and of course Weaver flipped out.”

Adora leans against the wood fence to feel the pressure on her back. “Yeah, but we got to hang out under the bleachers with Lonnie and Kyle. Remember? Kyle slashed the wrong tires so Rogelio was trying to find out which car was Tucker’s but he was already long gone with his friends. Then when it got too hot for Lonnie and Kyle they left, but I didn’t want the night to end so you stayed behind to look at the stars with me even though there was a heatwave.”

Catra shrugs. “It wasn’t so bad. I’d rather be hot than—“

“Cold, yeah, you hate the cold.” Adora gestures between them. “Some things never change.”

“I’m in the cold now, aren’t I?”

“For Regina.”

Catra laughs but it sounds empty. “But here I am with you.”

“Why?”

“Because you said you wanted to talk?”

“No.” Adora shakes her head and leans off the fence so she can look Catra in the eyes. “Why did you abandon Cathy at the prom to go check on me? Why did you leave Regina on the floor after I punched her in the face? Why are you with me now?”

Catra frowns, “you’re my best friend…”

Adora smiles because she remembers a time where she thought that to be the case. 

“I was gonna ask you to prom.” She looks away at the last second because she can’t get this out with Catra looking at her like she’s taking all the breath from her body. “I had this whole thing planned...we’d grab a milkshake with a side of fries and climb up the old water tower. I was gonna wait until sunset, because I’d seen it a hundred times in all these dumb movies.”

Catra’s voice sounds smokey, like there is a piece of coal wedged somewhere behind her tongue. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because you were going with Cathy. She asked you months before the prom was even happening.”

Catra mumbles, “I remember.”

“I just wanted to be with you that night.”

“Yeah, me too.” Catra sighs, digging her hands deeper into her pockets when a rough breeze passes by. “But that was a long time ago.”

Adora feels the box in her pocket, it burns when she touches it—the heat of that night keeping it preserved. It gave her comfort that night and she hopes it does the same in this moment because she needs to be brave.

When Adora pulls out the black box Catra doesn’t start right away, it’s not until Adora peels the lid open to reveal a ruby red corsage that Catra gasps (it’s a plastic one—Catra couldn't afford the real deal back then). On the night of prom Cathy was so stuck up about ruining her dress she wouldn’t let Catra clip it on (something about how it ruined the color scheme) and Tucker was such an asshole he had forgotten to get Adora one. It seemed like an easy option at the time (something Adora didn’t have to put much thought into); Catra had clipped her corsage on Adora’s arm right before Cathy dragged her away.

“I have had this in a bin under my bed for a frighteningly long amount of time,” Adora laughs awkwardly. “Even when we weren’t talking I kept it, and for a while I didn’t want to think about why, because we all know how much I hate thinking about myself. But then we became friends again, and I thought I kept it around because it was the last reminder of our friendship, but it’s always been more than that.

“When you put this on my arm it felt like you were choosing me, like you were invested in me. Not what I could do for you—you just wanted me. And I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t a priority for me because you are.”

“Adora…”

“I wanted to ask you to prom but Cathy beat me to it and I didn’t have time to think about what that meant to me because I had to focus on college applications to get us out of the Horde—“

“Adora.”

“And then we had that fight—and I might have burned a couple of your beanies you left behind at the house but I swear that was Sea Hawk’s idea and I was very drunk that night.” Adora’s talking with her hands now which is never a good sign. “And then when we did start talking again everything was awkward, I thought it was just because of the time gap but you kept your distance and stopped telling me things...and I was so busy with class, I didn’t make you a priority but I swear you are.”

“Adora, stop rambling and just tell me what you’re trying to say.”

“I was distracted with school and helping my team but I’m done trying to help everyone but myself. I have wants too.”

Catra looks like she’s close to shedding tears. A cloud of smoke slips past her lips; she steps up to Adora, they’re only a couple inches away and Adora almost cries because it’s been too long since they’ve been this close.

“What do you want?”

“You. I want you.”

Catra cries; they’re silent tears that stream down the side of her face. Adora reaches out to brush them away but Catra staggers back with a shaky breath. Catra shakes her head. 

“Five years.”

Adora tugs at her own fingers. “I know.”

“What changed?”

“...I kissed you and you said it was a mistake…”

Catra flinches. “You were drunk.”

“I meant it. I don’t regret it, just like I don’t regret punching Regina for what she said about you.”

“She was just messing with you.”

“Regina doesn’t know anything about you!” Adora scowls. “She took you to a ski resort, she drags you out to fancy restaurants—“

Catra nods. “She actually knows what she wants. Yeah, she sounds like a real monster.”

“I just told you what I want. It’s not my fault you don’t want to believe it.”

Catra’s voice breaks. “You can’t.”

“Why can’t I? Why is it so hard for you to believe I want you?”

“You’ve never wanted me,” Catra whispers. “You never put me first, I’m just an afterthought.”

Adora barks out a laugh. “An afterthought? Catra you’re the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning—you keep me up at night. I took a three hour drive with  _ Sea Hawk _ just to get here! I got  _ drunk _ during basketball season! I wore that stupid boxing costume because you liked one of Regina’s old Halloween pictures on Instagram!”

There’s more Adora wants to list, more she wants to say, but Catra is having none of it.

For years, Adora has felt like an alien on this earth—a side effect of her falling out with Catra. Some people say when two souls are intertwined, the world loses a step, pauses in rotation, when they are pulled apart. That even when they’ve rejoined it’s never exactly the same; like Adora being forced to look in from the outside and Catra forced to conceal her emotions.

But when Catra pulls them back together again, the world doesn’t just keep spinning—it hurls forward and zooms back into focus, it comes back together in a far better condition than what was left behind. When Catra kisses her it feels like the stars align. 

Adora shivers at the snow that packs up against her face from the sleeves of Catra’s coat that presses in when Catra wraps her arms around her. Everything about this night is cold and dark but Adora has never felt so warm. And so, Adora kisses back and lets herself get lost in her best friend—in a way she has never dared to dream.

The sky is clear behind them as they pull at each other in rambunctious unison—fueling each other with wet kisses and lingering touches. No, the auroras—the ones Mount Etheria are distinctly known for—are absent tonight. Instead, the sky resembles the view Adora and Catra shared long ago at the top of the water tower just over the tracks leading out of the Horde. And now that they’re older, and a little bit wiser, they know they’re not at the top of the world, but right now it sure as hell feels like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the late post but I updated an older story I'm picking back up again and I was busy with studying for my Biochem final. But classes are finally over! I have one more chapter planned out for this, or it might stretch out depending on how I feel (but I think everything is almost summed up). Let me know what you guys think and I hope everyone has a great break!
> 
> Also: I haven't seen a lot of CatraxAdora Christmas one-shots this week...


	5. Part III - A/C

(Part III A/C)

16

It’s below 20 degree Celsius on the edge of Mount Etheria and the little flurries of snow, falling from clear the sky, only aids in the constant drop in temperature—Catra’s coat barely stops the chill from leaking in—but she doesn’t feel anything of this world. Kissing Adora is new and familiar all at once. It’s new in the way Adora grabs at the lapels of her coat, pressing herself deeper into Catra’s for more. She’s never known Adora to want anything and it startles her because it’s such a raw, unkempt, thing that pours out of Adora like it's been locked up for years—imagine it...Adora _wanting_ her for years.

Catra moans into the kiss as Adora runs her tongue across the bottom of her lip right before slipping through the cracks that form when Catra shudders out a sigh. Kissing Adora like this is new and so very _familiar_ —and not in the sense of the drunken kiss they shared because, no, it doesn’t compare to this. It’s familiar in the way Catra loses track of time, the way her body doesn’t shake when a rather large gust of cold wind overtakes them—but in the way she shivers when Adora traces and then sucks her in. It’s familiar in the way she gets wrapped up in Adora’s presence just like she’s always done.

“Fuck,” Catra curses as she pulls away.

“What’s wrong?” Adora sounds worried, her eyebrows are doing that cute thing where they pinch together, but she doesn’t let go of the lapels of Catra’s coat. Instead, she holds on tight and pulls her in like she’s worried Catra might run off and that would be a valid option if Catra could feel her tail.

“It’s fucking cold.” Saying it aloud seemingly brings them back to reality because suddenly Catra is shaking all over.

“Come on.” Adora wraps her under her arm and guides Catra back through the footprints they left in the snow. It’s not an easy task—the new flakes have filled most of their prints—and it’s getting harder to watch where they’re going with the prevailing blizzard, but Adora keeps moving.

Catra doesn’t know how long they trudge through the storm, everything's a blur of white flakes of ice and snow mixed with the harsh whistling of the wind, chastising them for being out this late, but soon voices are cutting over the vivid sounds of nature.

“There they are!”

Catra looks up (she had kept her head down to stop the pelts of ice), she finds comfort at the burning light radiating from Regina’s cabin when she once only found fear and confusion. The warmth she feels has more to do with her friends, all gathered by the door in their snow coats—running as fast as they can towards them—than it does with what the cabin once represented.

“Come on.” Of course Glimmer reaches them first, ushering them to the cabin and commanding the room with the grace of a queen—a ridiculous thought (but, maybe in a past life?). “Get them some blankets and something warm to drink. Perfuma, take Adora’s coat while I help Catra out of hers. Bow and Scorpia, can you get them some warm clothes?”

“On it!”

Catra feels a weight lift when Glimmer pries the stiff coat off her body. “T-thanks,” she stutters, the words almost getting lost to the chatter of her teeth.

“Try not to talk so much. Where’s the tea?”

“No tea but we do have spiced hot chocolate.” Entrapta says. “It’s actually much more healthier than—“

“Great.” Glimmer interrupts her and snatches the drink and shoves it towards Adora. “Drink this.”

Adora looks stricken as she struggles to hold the mug, Catra can imagine the pain she must be in—her frostbitten hands forced to hold something so hot. Catra’s about to reach out to help when Adora switches tactics and uses the handle of the mug instead to carry it to her mouth. 

Regina notices Adora’s struggle and kneels beside Catra to guide the mug to her lips. “Here.”

Catra makes a face (it’s scary how easy she slips back into Horde manners). “You don’t have to—“

“Shut up and drink it.”

Catra does as she’s told but she drags her feet all the way and mutters profanity beneath her lips. The spice from the hot chocolate burns at her sinuses while the liquid warms her from the inside out. It’s intense and fast but she powers through it until none remains.

“See? That wasn’t so hard.” Regina says as she brushes a strand of hair out from Catra’s face.

Catra’s too tired to push her away and is worried of how suspicious it’ll seem if she does. And she will talk to Regina, but she doesn’t want to have this conversation when there is literally nowhere to run. Catra knows the power of a broken heart and doesn’t want to be around when Regina reaches her low. 

Catra can see Adora’s gaze lingering on the sight—the same way Regina’s fingers stay a moment too long on the contours of Catra’s jaw. Adora looks away just as Regina’s fingers slip off, slow and fluid, just as Catra glances her way.

Adora grabs her mug—probably embracing the burn at her palm and the sting in her throat. She chugs the hot chocolate until nothing remains but a trail of fire—a welcome distraction Catra assumes.

Bow and Scorpia return next with a bundle of clothes and blankets that they toss their way with eager expectation. And once Adora and Catra are in their fresh clothes and swaddled beneath an array of blankets the sharp energy in the room seems to die down just a bit. Their friends sit on the floor around them with worried looks, for a long moment it’s silent and once again Glimmer steps up and commands the room.

“What happened?”

“What…” Adora clears her throat and tries again. “What do you mean?”

Glimmer scoffs. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you guys!”

“We just went to the clearing for a bit, Sparkles, no big deal. As you can see, we’re fine.”

Glimmer flicks Catra’s ear and shoots back, “ _we’re fine_...you were gone for an hour! Didn’t you guys get the blizzard alert warnings?”

“My phone was on silent.”

“I didn’t notice any alerts.” Adora says, looking more apologetic than Catra does (which is not at all).

“Excuses.” Glimmer mutters as she glares at Catra who responds by sticking her tongue out.

Perfuma stands up and claps her hands. “The important thing is you two are safe and out of the blizzard. They should get some rest.”

“The blizzard won’t stop anytime soon,” Regina says. “You should all stay here for the night. The storm should let up in the morning.”

Perfuma smiles. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem but...I don’t mean to be rude—“

“Shocker.” Catra says.

“You, hush, drink your spicy hot chocolate and talk to me when your voice stops trembling.” Regina looks at the rowdy group in her living room and wonders “...what exactly are you all doing here? And who are you? I know Anna—“

“Adora,” several voices correct her in unison.

“—but the rest of you...I’m drawing a blank.”

“A blank?” Glimmer huffs, “we were the ones who helped you at the party!”

“Ah yes, you helped me after _your_ friend punched me in the face. I remember now.”

“They didn’t have to help you,” Mermista says.

“And she didn’t have to punch me—“

“Okay.” Bow laughs awkwardly. “Regina is being nice enough to let us stay here so the least we can do is give her some answers, right?”

Glimmer relents. “We aren’t stalking you guys or anything like that. I have a cabin a couple miles out and after midterms we all thought it was time for a break. We found out you guys were here a couple hours ago when we ran into Scorpia.” She gives Adora a look that says _sell it bitch_.

“Yeah!” Adora says, “I ran into Catra on the way back and we just lost track of time.”

Regina raises an eyebrow and turns to Catra asking, “really? How’d you run into each other if you were in the wine cellar the last time I saw you?”

“Scorpia left a note behind,” Catra says with ease. “Something about testing out the boosters of this new design we’re working on for our race. She said she was out at some clearing with Entrapta and that obviously sounded like a disaster waiting to happen so I left to go check on them. I found this idiot wandering around on my way there.”

Adora pouts. “Hey! I wasn’t wandering around.”

“Oh yes my mistake. She was tripping on her own feet, city kids like us aren’t equipped for this weather.” Catra stands up. “Is everyone good now? All the loose ends tied? Good.”

“Catra’s right, we should get some sleep.” Bow says.

Regina nods. “I should have enough rooms for you all but if not someone can take the couch.”

“Bow and I can share a room.” Glimmer says.

Catra whistles.

“Not a word, scummy.”

They scatter off to their designated rooms for the night with bundles of blankets and pillows under their arms. Regina walks Catra to her room despite her protests—she tries to ignore the knot in her stomach at the crestfallen look on Adora’s face as she watches them at the door to her room just before she locks herself up inside. Catra wants to tell Adora everything and anything but she can’t deny the fatigue any longer; her body has only now adjusted it’s temperature.

Regina helps her to bed before she backs away with a shaky step, her arms are crossed and pressed tight against her chest as she looks down at her with a twisted face. “Are you gonna be okay alone? You won’t die in your sleep from some injury you’re keeping hidden for our benefit?”

“You watch too much tv…I’m fine, okay? Just really tired.”

Regina nods. “Okay. I’ll get you in the morning, we can get Scorpia to make us breakfast.”

Catra laughs. “Sounds great.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night Regina.”

* * *

Adora doesn’t wait until the passing of night when there is less risk of running into her friends as they roam the halls—she’s done waiting—instead, she listens for the last door to shut, makes sure every light is dimmed, before she leaves her room like a thief in the night. She crosses the long hallway and lets the light of the moon, peeking out from between the crack of the blinds, guide her on her quest. Adora curses when she steps on a creaky floor board because really, why did Catra have to choose the room farthest from hers?

Another creak echoes in the hallway but this time it’s not from Adora, she stands still and looks up to see a silhouette at the other end of the hall. They are exactly halfway apart, separated by the wood staircase. Adora holds her breath and begs it not to be Regina—anyone but her. But then they’re moving, slowly closing the distance, while Adora remains planted in her spot as she tries to come up with some lie about getting lost on her way to the bathroom. She’s about to try out the lie on her lips when then the curtains flutter as heat comes out from the vent; the ripple allows more light to shine through.

Adora’s words get lost in her throat because it’s Catra on the other end of the hall; she’s the one being hit by the light of the moon. When Catra bridges the gap Adora meets her halfway and tugs at her hand, silently dragging her away.

They sneak back to Adora’s room like the thieves they are; and maybe it’s an accurate way to describe them—as thieves, because isn’t that what they are?

Silence follows as they slip into bed at opposite ends before meeting each other in the middle with brushing foreheads and lingering fingertips that graze smooth skin, feather light touches, leaving behind deep impressions long after the night is done.

17

Catra wakes up to chatter downstairs in the kitchen that makes its way into the room she shares with Adora. She groans into the pillow and flips on her stomach to drown them out but the pillow doesn’t suffice and soon the muffled voices get louder with whatever chaos her friends are causing downstairs. Any other time she would go back to sleep or yell at them to cut it out but Regina’s being generous letting them stay here so she feels obligated to do something about the noise (and she knows how much Regina values her beauty sleep).

“Where’re you going?” Adora asks, eyes heavy as they peek out from under her bangs. She latches onto Catra’s hand with in desperate vice and for a moment Catra is transported back to last night—when Adora held onto the lapels of her coat, fearful of the inevitable. Maybe she would’ve run back when she was in high school, when she was filled with nothing but anger and resentment, but she’s older now and she’s done lashing out.

“I’m gonna calm those idiots down before Regina kicks us all to the curb, she hates being woken up by petulant noises because they alter her dreams and—long story short, she’s afraid of frowning in her sleep so she likes it to be silent.” Catra tries to explain Regina’s reasoning but she doesn’t get what the woman does half the time anyway so she falls short.

Adora looks wary when she asks, “and you know this from experience?”

“No,” Catra is quick to say “of course not. I just received some very vivid text messages when I reached out to her at 3am with some last minute Biochem questions for this assignment I was working on.”

“Good. I’ll be down in a few.” Adora hesitates before she presses a lasting kiss at the corner of Catra’s mouth. When she pulls away, red stains on Adora's face leak down from the tip of her ears all the way down to the top of her collarbone.

Catra squeezes her hand twice before she lets go and leaves to see what their idiot friends are up to. She jogs down the steps and carefully peeks into the kitchen; everyone is up for the most part (thankfully Regina is still sleeping), and they’re eating some cereal they must’ve scavenged from the cabinets.

“Catra, hey, you’re up.” Bow greets with a smile. He scoots over and gestures to the open seat between him and Entrapta. “You wanna sit with us?”

Catra plops down and snatches a bowl from the center and pours some dry cereal into it. The milk is probably in the fridge so she just pops the _Frosted Flakes_ in her mouth because she’s too lazy to walk to the fridge. Everyone is staring at her with rapt attention like she’s doing some kind of magic trick.

“Why’re you all staring at me?” Catra knows the answer but she asks anyway to see if any of them have the guts to spit it out.

Glimmer looks like she’s about to spill but she deflects at the last moment. “You’re up early. It’s just weird seeing you in the light of the early sun.”

Catra snorts. “Not by choice. Regina hates getting up early and you guys were making a lot of noise so I came to tell you to keep it down. She’s being cool about whatever _this_ is and I don’t want to push it.”

“So,” Scopia looks crestfallen. “Regina huh?”

“Yep.” Catra says. “Just looking out for her, you know?”

Bow asks, “what about Adora? She seemed pretty shaken up after getting stuck in that blizzard so maybe you should look out for her too.”

“Nah, she’s good.” And yeah, Catra may be trolling the shit out of them but from what Adora’s told her they pretty much deserve it. She respects and loves Glimmer for defending her honor (or whatever) but she doesn’t need them dictating her life. They shouldn’t have gotten involved, when Adora asked for their help all they should’ve asked was _what do you need_ with no further questions or objections. But by all the frowns and pinched eyebrows, she can tell her friends have come to their senses and are sorry for what they’ve done and are willing to offer nothing but support going forth.

“Hey,” Catra says suddenly when she notices the car keys in Glimmer’s hand. “You guys are heading out already?”

Bow nods. “Aren’t you?”

“I hadn’t thought about it.”

“There’s supposed to be another blizzard later tonight—“

“In 12 hours and 19 minutes,” Entrapta says, and Catra doesn’t want to know _how_ she knows the specifics but whatever.

Glimmer continues, “we’re not trying to get stuck here another night. If we leave within the hour we can get back by the afternoon and then we’ll have Sunday to relax before classes start back up again. If we stay any longer we risk getting stuck here tomorrow and the weather is so up in the air around here, it’s not worth it.”

“We’re heading out too, Wildcat, don’t you have class Monday?”

“Yeah and I’m dreading it.” Catra rubs her eyes and she’s suddenly feeling exhausted all over again. “I’ll let Regina know, but she should have all the mock photos she needs for the Thanksgiving portrait they’re taking.”

Glimmer makes a face. “The what?”

“I’m not repeating myself.”

* * *

When Adora comes down she gets bombarded with all these depressing looks (does Perfuma have a tear in her eye?) and she automatically looks to Catra and wonders exactly what she did or didn’t tell them about their walk out to the clearing. But she doesn’t have time to dwell on it because Regina comes downstairs not too long after her in this ridiculous cream nightgown that has these stupid ridges at the end of it.

“Regina, did you know there was another blizzard coming?” Catra asks when she sees the blonde waltzing into the kitchen.

Regina nods. “Scorpia, Entrapta, and I packed our bags last night before going to bed. We were able to get everything in the truck so all we need to do is grab our coats then we’re ready to go.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I went to your room but you weren’t there.”

It’s frightening how quick it takes for Glimmer to stare her down. Adora shakes her head, a bad move on her part because now Glimmer’s eyes have gone wide and she’s nudging Bow with her elbow and now they’re both looking at her and then at Catra and back at her. Glimmer’s face is apparently very telling because soon the once sullen looks on her friends faces are brightening; Mermista and Sea Hawk are smirking at her, Perfuma and Scorpia are trying to give discrete thumbs up under the table and Entrapta...she’s actually not paying attention.

“She was in my room.” Glimmer saves the day by saying, “I wanted to know why she’d been ignoring my text messages this weekend so I kind of held her at gunpoint. Not sorry by the way.”

Regina smirks. “I like her.”

“No, nope, not happening. I refuse to allow these two worlds to clash.” Catra stands up suddenly and snaps her fingers. “Let’s get out of here before the blizzard comes, it’ll probably be crowded on the ride down the mountain. I doubt we’re the only ones who know so a lot of people are going to be trying to get out.”

Mermista nods. “Yeah, how about we try not getting stuck here.”

“Just let me pack my bags.”

“No need. Scopia and I took care of it last night, it’s in the car.” Regina says.

“Great, then let’s just head out then. This has been the longest weekend of my life.”

Regina slaps Catra on the shoulder playfully. “You had fun at the slopes.”

Glimmer gives Catra a sly look and says, “yeah Catra...at least one good thing came from this weekend.”

“Yep,” Regina remarks with a grin “I _really_ like her.”

Adora doubts Regina would be saying that if she knew what Glimmer was really referring to but the moment doesn’t last and soon they’re getting their winter gear together and tumbling out into the snow (Regina has to go back upstairs to change out of that ridiculous nightgown). She goes to pack into Sea Hawk’s car, Mermista and Perfuma are already there chatting away, but Glimmer grabs her by the elbow and shoots her a dangerous look.

“Adora, you should ride with Bow and I. We’re going to the same place so it makes more sense.” Glimmer says carefully, and it is a reasonable option but Adora can read between the bullshit on Glimmer’s face.

“Yeah,” Adora gets distracted by Catra walking past them “I’ll be there just give me a second.”

Glimmer sees her line of sight and jabs her in the shoulder with her finger. “We’re talking about this in the car,” she mutters before following Bow.

Catra’s talking to Scorpia when Adora sneaks over, and soon their whispering is reduced to silence when they notice her in the mix.

Scorpia clears her throat. “I’m gonna make sure Entrapta has all her gadgets, we don’t need to drive back up here anytime soon.”

Adora waits until Scorpia is out of earshot before saying “hey, everything okay?”

“Yeah. Scorpia’s just worried about me per usual.”

“Right,” Adora nods. “Uhm, I’m riding with Bow and Glimmer, there’s an extra seat in the back if you want to…”

“I can’t.” Catra sighs. “It’ll look weird, and Regina doesn’t know Scorpia and Entrapta that well; they kind of forced their way on this trip as is and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.”

“Right yeah, no one wants that.”

“Wildcat! We’re leaving!”

Catra squeezes Adora’s shoulder in passing. The walk back to Bow’s car feels longer than it should, weighing on her shoulders heavier than any lost basketball game ever has. She slumps into the backseat and counts to herself because it’s only a matter of time before—

“So?”

Bow and Glimmer are turned around in their seats looking at her with anticipation.

“So what?” Adora asks, fidgeting under their stares.

“You and Catra, what happened at the clearing?”

Adora smiles at the memory, so visceral that she shivers as if she were back in the eye of the blizzard. “I told her how I felt, well...I didn’t tell her I loved her because I didn’t want to freak her out—“

“I told you she loves you back,” Glimmer groans.

“It was a lot, and she had her doubts and I didn’t think she was going to believe me but then…”

Bow and Glimmer nod.

“We kissed. Like, a lot.” Adora backs as far as she can into the leather seat of the car because Glimmer looks like she’s about to cry. “You okay?”

“I’m just so happy.” Glimmer smiles. “My best friends, finally together.”

Adora winces.

“You guys are dating, right?” Bow asks.

Adora looks away. “We didn’t get that far.”

“But she did spend the night in your room.”

“Nothing happened!”

Glimmer raises an eyebrow. “Adora.”

“...okay, some _things_ did happen, but not all the things, because some things are worth waiting for and—“

“You need to talk to Catra.” Bow tells her. “You’ve seen what happens when you hold off on this. It’ll only hurt you guys and I think I speak for everyone when I say we’re sick of seeing you two hurt each other.”

“Bow’s right. You have to talk to her.”

Adora swallows the lump in her throat and down goes the fear. “I will.”

She knows what she wants.

* * *

When Adora gets back to her apartment she slithers into her room while Bow and Glimmer slump out on the couch to watch some mindless tv to lull them to sleep after the long drive back. Adora’s changing into some comfortable clothes when she gets a text.

_Catra [cat emoji] [heart emoji]: hey, Regina just dropped me off at my apartment. It was a long day so I probably won’t get a chance to talk to her until tomorrow but I’ll keep you updated_

_Catra [cat emoji] [heart emoji]: and Regina didn’t come inside btw she had to go back to her place to deal with her plastics. Her words not mine_

Adora feels an invisible weight lift—she didn’t even know it was weighing her down.

_Adora [brain emoji] [question mark emoji]: okay, I’m exhausted so I’m gonna knock out soon but I’m glad you got back safe_

_Catra [cat emoji] [heart emoji]: you too. I’ll talk to you later. Goodnight_

Adora types out _I love you_ before she comes to her senses and erases it.

_Adora [brain emoji] [question mark emoji]: goodnight [sleep emoji]_

18

It’s Monday night when Catra gets out of her class and heads over to Regina’s apartment on the other side of campus near the frat and sorority houses. She takes the elevator to the top floor and knocks on room 216. There’s the pitter patter of feet before Regina opens the door dressed in an oversized hoodie with her hair tied into a messy bun that spills out atop her head.

“Hey, I’ve been waiting for you.” Regina says and opens the door further to let Catra in. “You can sit on the couch or whatever. Ignore the mess, I’m having this stupid game night with these new girls on the floor.”

Catra frowns but does as she’s told. “You knew I was coming?”

“I mean, you haven’t texted me since Saturday night and you’ve been avoiding me so I knew something had to give eventually. So either you were going to stop ghosting me or I was going to put you in the burn book...kidding, totally kidding, I don’t do that anymore.”

Catra doesn’t even know what Regina’s on about and she doesn’t try to understand.

“I’m not avoiding you. I had to do my pre lab yesterday and then I had class tonight.”

Regina sits next to her. “You’ve been avoiding me. And I bet it has something to do with Anna.”

“Adora.”

“Why did the rest of your Scooby gang really show up at the cabin, and why were you with her at the clearing? No bull shit this time, we’re both too smart for it.”

Catra didn’t think this would be so hard. “...Adora snuck off to see me, she had to tell me something, but Glimmer and a few of my other friends didn’t agree with her decision so they took a separate car and drove up there to stop her. And I really was going to check on Scorpia but then I found Adora instead and we went to the clearing to talk.”

“What did she tell you?”

Catra tries to smile but it falls short. “Do you really want to know?”

“I guess it doesn’t matter.” Regina takes a moment before asking, “so, that night when I went to check on you...were you with her?”

“Yeah.”

Regina shakes her head and lets out a rough laugh. “I thought you were over her.”

“So did I but, I was fooling myself if I thought I could ever let her go.” Catra says, “Adora and I have always been it, you know? She kept me out of trouble when we were at Weaver’s foster home, she made sure I didn’t act up in school so we could go to college together—and I didn’t repay her the way I should have. I did a lot of things I regret but I’m trying to make up for them. Adora and I look out for each other and I never want that to change again.

“I’m sorry about getting you caught up in all of this...with Adora punching you, with my friends camping out at your families cabin, and for the damage to the jacuzzi—“

“The _what_?”

“The point is, I’m sorry you got caught in the crossfire.”

“Well...I can’t say I’m surprised,” Regina confesses. “I knew you weren’t totally over her but it was just nice to be around you. You're so different from my usual group of friends. You’re actually honest and you call me out on my shit without judging me.”

“Oh no, I still judge you.”

Regina laughs. “See? I’m gonna miss you, asshole.”

“Well, I still kind of need your help in Biochem so it’s not like you’ll never see me again.”

“Seriously? You just dump me and now you’re asking me to help you get an A in Sharks class?”

Catra shakes her head. “Technically, we were never dating and you agreed to help me before all of this happened so the contract is very much binding.”

“Fine.” Regina bumps shoulders with her and says, “but can we please not become those people who only wave at each other once in the hallway and then just make this awkward eye contact when we keep seeing each other on campus?”

“Yeah no, I hate those people.”

“Right? It’s like the universe keeps making me run into them and it’s always on the same day. Like a freaking onslaught.”

The front door slams open and suddenly Catra is bombarded by a view of shopping bags and takeout. Two women barrel into the living room and dump their bags on the floor with exaggerated heaves.

“Regina!” The brunette yells as she takes off her sunglasses so she can properly glare at her roommate. “You were supposed to have the games setup. I knew we should have gotten Cady to supervise you.”

Regina rolls her eyes. “Cady probably doesn’t even know what board games are, and I was taking care of it before my friend stopped by if you haven’t noticed. Catra, these are my roommates Gretchen and Karen.”

“Oh, hi.” Gretchen smiles and does a cute wave before turning to Regina to whisper “we don’t have enough snacks for her if she plans on staying for game night.”

Catra gets up, laughing. “Wow, the two of you actually do exist. I thought Regina was making that shit up.”

“I wish,” Regina mutters.

“Well, I’m gonna go but it was nice meeting you two.”

Karen stares at Catra’s ears for a long time before asking, “were you a sexy cat for Halloween?”

“Nope.” Catra slowly backs away, “okay, leaving for real now. Later Regina.”

“Please don’t leave me alone with them.”

Catra slams the door close and doesn’t look back.

19

It’s Thursday afternoon when Catra finishes a brutal Advanced Organic Chemistry quiz; she needs time to rest her brain, so she lounges out on the couch with popcorn and Netflix. Scorpia is out with Perfuma doing whatever those two do together so Catra is left with Entrapta who is tinkering with one of her research projects and not even paying attention to the show. Catra’s glad when she gets a text from Glimmer (anything to put her out of her misery).

Sparkles: open the door

Horde Scum: a please would be nice

Sparkles: now

Catra mutters, “this bitch did not just..” she lets her words trail off as she opens the door. “What the hell—“

“You, shut up and sit down.” Glimmer says as she barges in. She nods at Entrapta, “can you give us a minute?”

It’s a miracle when Entrapta actually feels the room and gets up with her gadget and locks herself up in her room with no questions asked. Catra nervously slumps back into the couch and cradles her bowl of popcorn for protection (the last time she saw Glimmer this angry was when she found out the bar on 22nd didn’t serve bottomless mimosas—their faces are still on the _do not serve_ board).

“You good?”

Glimmer stands in front of her, takes a deep breath, and says “talk to Adora. Please. She is driving me crazy.”

“How so?” Catra asks because sure she’s changed a lot but at the end of the day she’s still very much an asshole when she wants to be and enjoys riling people up.

“She keeps asking if she should reach out to you, she sends us these mock texts that she says she’s going to send but then she backs out at the last minute—and she’s eating all my ice cream! _That_ is where I draw the line. You know how much I love my butter pecan.”

Catra nods. “I do.”

“Exactly, so you know how hard it is for me to not strangle her.” Glimmer calms down a bit but stays standing, almost restless. “I thought everything was good between you guys. You kissed, sober this time...so what’s the problem?”

Catra sighs out a shaky breath. “Me I guess?”

Glimmer sits down beside her asking, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s just weird. Like,” Catra frowns, trying to find the right words. “It’s like when you apply for this job that you know you want more than anything but you’re only one out of five hundred applicants. So you kind of downplay how much you want the job, you do everything you can to sabotage yourself, so you don’t feel the pain when you get rejected but—by some freak accident—you actually get what you want. And now it's just within reach but…”

“You’re scared.” Glimmer says.

“Petrified.” Catra corrects. “I never thought this could happen, I never thought I deserved her—I still don’t—but here we are and now I’m just scared of making the same mistakes. What if I self sabotage again?”

Glimmer flicks her ear. “Then I’ll smack the shit out of you. Both of you...you’re not the only one sabotaging this thing, Catra. But isn’t it worth finding out how amazing the experience will be?”

“She’s my best friend, Glimmer. I don’t want to lose her again.”

“You’d rather go back to a couple weeks ago where the two of you were awkwardly coexisting? Because that won’t cut it for long, eventually one of you is going to move on, which will be painful to watch, or one of you is going to distance yourself which is going to hurt even worse. So just take a chance.

“You’re a lot of things Catra, but you’re not a coward.”

Catra leans into Glimmer’s shoulder mumbling, “you’re a good friend.”

“Your best friend, actually.” Glimmer waits a moment before she asks, “so what do you wanna do?”

“I want to see her.”

Glimmer smiles. “Then let’s go.”

20

Adora sleeps through her alarm and opts out of going to class because at this point even if she does make it she’ll have no idea what the professor is talking about. So instead of doing the long walk of shame down the isle of her lecture in room 209, Adora heads to the gym. She goes to the main gym where the treadmills and ellipticals dominate; her usual go to is the gym on the lower level of the school—it’s equipped with free weights but she doesn’t feel like being weighed down today.

Adora dumps her bag off in one of the empty lockers before she makes her way to the gym. She signs in at the front desk with her school ID and it’s her lucky day because there’s only one treadmill left. But fate must be playing games with her because Regina puts her foot on the treadmill the same time Adora does. They stare at each other for a long moment, and all that goes through Adora’s head is _don’t punch her, don’t punch her, don’t punch her, don’t..._ She has no concept of what goes on through Regina’s head, probably something having to do with dresses and fancy restaurants, but Adora can tell, at this moment, it’s neither a pleasantry or ditsy fantasy.

“Adora,” she struggles to get the word out—even makes a strange face as she tastes the foreign name on her tongue. “Crazy running into you here.”

“Super crazy.” Adora mutters.

Regina steps away, the fluid motion makes her ponytail flutter and wave (she almost slaps some dude in the face who's walking by). “You can take it, I’ll just grab a mat and work on some core exercises.”

“Wait,” Adora steadies herself before saying “I know I should have said this a long time ago but, I’m sorry for punching you. I shouldn't have done that, and you were really cool about letting me and my friends stay at your cabin during the blizzard even though I didn’t address the issue and I really appreciate that.”

Regina looks her up and down. “Did Catra put you up to this?”

“What? No, I—“

“I'm just messing with you. Don’t be so serious all the time, and stop furrowing your brow like that or you’ll have wrinkles before you even hit thirty.”

Adora’s eyebrows pinch in tighter but it’s worth seeing the pained look on Regina’s face.

“But thank you for apologizing. Catra told me it wouldn’t take long, I didn’t believe her, but I guess she knows you better than I do. Obviously.”

Adora back tracks. “Catra said that?”

“Not exactly,” Regina looks bored with this conversation but she does confess, “when we were at Mount Etheria she just mentioned how she thought you would apologize to me and how she didn’t recognize you anymore. Something that.”

“She told _you_ that?” Adora whispers.

Regina’s face pulls a strange expression. She puts a hand on Adora’s shoulder and says, “I’m not good at this comforting stuff but, none of what Catra told me at the diner matters.”

“Why not?” Adora has to try very hard not to brush Regina’s hand off her shoulder.

“Because you two are together now.”

Adora does remove the hand from her shoulder (she thinks it’s been there long enough). “Catra and I aren’t—we’re just friends.”

Regina stares at her for a second and then barks out a harsh laugh. “Are you joking?”

“Why would I lie?”

“So wait, let me get this straight—excuse the pun—you punched me in the face and snuck Catra into the room you were staying in at my cabin for nothing.” Regina shakes her head. “What the hell are you waiting for?”

Adora bristles because Regina doesn’t know anything about her and she’s had enough lectures from her friends, she doesn’t need it from Regina too (off all people). She snaps, “why am I the one who has to make the first move? Scratch that. I already made the first move. I told Catra I...look, she knows how I feel, okay? She doesn’t…”

“What? Tell me exactly what you think Catra doesn’t want because it seems like this option has been working out so well for you.”

Adora clenches her fist and shoots back, “I don’t have to think about it. Her actions are enough.”

“You’re so off the mark it’s laughable.”

Suddenly Adora doesn’t feel guilty for punching her all those nights ago.

“Look, I don’t like you but I do care about Catra so I’m telling you this for her benefit. When we were at Mount Etheria I told Catra how I felt but she was hesitant about accepting my advances until I asked her _what’s wrong with knowing what I want and taking it?_ ” Regina steps onto the treadmill, she looks down at Adora but this time she doesn’t feel like a stain at the bottom of Regina’s shoe. “Take what you want before someone else does.”

Adora takes a staggering step back, then one, and another, before she’s pivoting at a 90 degree angle and running out of the gym. As she runs through the corridors of BU, the night of the Halloween party flicks through her mind like an old drive in movie—the images are choppy, flicking in and out of focus, in black and white. She thinks to the exact moment when her cup hit the floor—amber liquid spilling—announcing the first round. Back then she’d been so full of anger and resentment, acting on pure emotion, blind to the consequences but the adrenaline protected her. And now, as each step gets her closer to her destination, Adora pulls forth the same adrenaline to protect her in this next and hopefully last battle. 

* * *

She uses up her last boost of energy walking back to her dorm after a failed attempt at locating Catra and of course she doesn’t have her phone on her and isn’t answering any of the messages Adora’s left her. It was a punch in the gut, having Scorpia tell her that Catra wasn’t around and with Perfuma lingering in the living room (probably for some lame date night, gross) Adora didn’t feel like being a third wheel so she cut her loses. The walk back to her apartment is long and brutal but when she finally reaches Complex E things start looking up. And sure she might not get the chance to tell Catra how she feels tonight but at least she can look forward to eating some of Glimmer’s ice cream (she’s super discrete about it, there’s no way Glimmer knows it’s her).

“Hey guys,” she mutters upon entry.

Bow looks up from the couch, grinning. “Adora, hey how was your—“

“There’s a package for you.” Glimmer cuts him off.

Adora opens the front door again and peeks outside. “I don’t see anything.”

“It’s on the roof,” Glimmer continues with her weird cryptic messages that Adora is too tired to divulge.

“I’m really tired guys, I think I’ll just go to bed.”

Bow says, “just check it out and take the fire escape, it’s quicker.”

Adora closes the front door with caution, looks between her friends who are (for once) not giving anything away. She takes the first step, the rest are easy after that and soon she’s sliding her window open and going out on the fire escape. She takes the stairs two at a time now because she knows this MO. It’s a classic Adora protocol, one of the many Catra wrote up when they were kids. Whenever Adora had a bad day they would grab some snacks and drinks and head up to the roof so they could get away from the noise.

Her stomach turns and tosses, it fights to dissolve all the things she’s kept locked away for so long. It all comes forward, the hot bubbles try to make its way out of her throat but this time she doesn’t try to swallow it, she opens her mouth and lets it go. The chill that had crept its way up her back—the one that startled her as it bit into her knees because _when did it get so high_ —it slithers out past her lips, slipping through the cracks of her teeth with enough force to give rise to a shiver. And it takes its time tumbling out, not at all in the same manner of which it corrupted her but with one more breath it’s gone from her body and free to wreak havoc on its next unsuspecting victim.

Adora takes a breath and it comes out clean. She’s ready. With nothing else holding her back Adora takes the last step and climbs up onto the roof where Catra’s leaning against the railing.

Catra turns to her and smiles, and that alone is usually enough to leave Adora breathless but this time it’s the spark in those eyes that do it for her. A few years ago, maybe even weeks, she never thought she’d see it again.

“Hey Adora.”

She gets a hold of herself and manages to meet Catra at the railing without making a fool of herself.

“I don’t,” Adora shakes her head and tries again “I didn’t bring anything.”

“You didn’t need to. I’ve got some hot chocolate, but not that spicy shit Entrapta made us drink, and I’ve got some sandwiches Bow helped me make while we waited for you to come back. Glimmer just sat on her ass while we did all the work but I had to give her one since you’ve been eating her ice cream, she’s pissed by the way.” Catra shakes her head and groans, “and I’m sorry about not answering your messages. I knew you were headed to my apartment and I let you waste your time going over there anyway, and you were probably really worried, but I wanted to surprise you and—“

“I love you.” Adora says because she can’t hold it in anymore. And for a moment—a moment where she’s weak and scared—she starts to feel the chill creep back in but then Catra’s eyebrows are pinching in and she’s looking at her like she adores her and she feels warm all over again.

The chill makes a hasty retreat.

“I love you too.”

Adora laughs, shaky. “Really? You’re not mad I waited five years to do something about it?”

Catra shakes her head. “No, I mean it hurt and I was so angry at you for a long time but you were going through it too, and honestly? I’m so sick of talking about it. I don’t think we should forget it, because it’s part of our story, but I think we should just choose to acknowledge it happened because right now we’re here...and I don’t know about you but, being here with you feels pretty great.”

“Our story?”

“Yeah,” Catra smiles. “...I think we’re one of those couples with a long story when people ask us how we got together. 

“Did you just quote _The Office_ at me and try to pass it off as a line?”

Catra huffs. “Shut up, it’s been a long day and my brain literally can’t function. I barely had enough brain cells to set this up.”

“Welcome to my world.”

Adora pulls Catra in for a kiss, and she basks in the knowledge that it isn’t the first and it sure as hell won’t be the last. 

And so, they embrace their future—a present for their struggle wrapped from the past and tied together with a red fated string—like they’ve never done before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m thinking of having just the Epilogue where we see them at the end of their senior year or maybe even a few years after college graduation. This story is pretty much summed up and I don’t want to drag it out. Let me know if you guys like this idea, and let me know what you’d like to see in the final chapter to come—also tell me if all the loose ends are tied.
> 
> For my other stories, I’m trying to update them in this order (ie: Love and Track following the final chapter for Ten Days).


	6. Epilogue

Epilogue

It’s hot as hell for a night in March. Adora bets she could see the heat waves radiating off the hilltops of the packed sand that seems to stretch out for miles if the sun were out but, in all honesty, she really shouldn’t complain. Last Spring Break was also at Glimmer’s beach house but the weather was awful—rainy and humid all day—quickly ruining their vibe, but they did have an intense game of _UNO_ that ended with Perfuma eating a habanero pepper after losing a bet followed by everyone frantically searching the freezer for anything to cool her mouth down. The year Perfuma’s mouth set fire marked the tradition where they all saddle up and vacation at Glimmer’s beach house in Mystacor during Spring Break. It’s not even like there is enough room to fit their entire squad, with only six bedrooms, but luckily the sights and luxury make up for getting packed into those rooms like a can of sardines.

While the bedding situation is still very much present, some things are definitely different this time around.

“Catra!” Bow cheers, he’s the first one to see Catra walking out from the house in a comfortable burgundy tank-top and faded blue shorts. She makes a beeline to the group gathered in the backyard, they’re all lounging on the sand in a messy circle with a cooler full of drinks perched in the middle. Mermista was just telling them another story about something Sea Hawk did over the weekend, and she’s more than a little drunk so it’s hard to make out what she’s saying in between her slurring, but everyone takes a second to greet Catra as she snatches water from the cooler.

Catra nods at them. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“You’re late.” Glimmer stands up just to say it and gives her a hard time as usual.

“What else is new, babe?” Catra nudges Glimmer with her shoulder in passing. Glimmer rolls her eyes all in good fun and retaliates by pinching the bare skin at Catra’s waist in a way that is so familiar and reminiscent of the last party they had before the last week of summer. Catra sidesteps Glimmer when she tries to make another grab at her, and manages to get away in one piece so she can join Adora in the sand where she saved her spot. Catra greets her with a lingering kiss that quickly turns deep.

“Get a room.” Glimmer frowns at her choice of wording. “Actually, no, please don’t have sex in the house—or _anywhere_ —my grandmother lives here for most of the year and I swear, I better not walk in on you two. I still haven’t forgotten about last time.”

“Lucky you.” Catra whistles, unfazed at the teasing by now.

Bow shudders. “Please don’t mention that ever again. I still get flashes.”

“Flashes of what?” Scorpia asks from the other side of the circle having not heard what they were talking about.

“Flashbacks of Adora and Catra having intercourse in their apartment.” Entrapta supplies information that was definitely _not_ given during this conversation so Adora’s wondering how she knows that little detail.

Adora wants to work out how Entrapta got her hands on this information but her face suddenly feels hot because now most of their friends are looking over at them, and it doesn’t help that Catra’s not even trying to hide her smirk. Adora ducks her face into Catra’s shoulder and mutters, “...say it louder will you.”

Entrapta raises her voice. “Flashbacks of—“

“Rhetorical Traps.” Catra says soft but stern.

“Anyway,” Perfuma slowly pulls them away from this awkward conversation “Catra why were you so late? I thought you were driving up here with Adora but you guys took separate cars.”

“Adora caught a ride with Bow and Glimmer but she’s riding back with me at the end of the week. And I had to finish my biochem final so...fun stuff.” Catra mutters the last part. She takes a sip of water and groans. “I need alcohol but I have a track meet next week.”

Perfuma smiles. “I’m sure you did fine. Didn’t you have that girl helping you study?”

Catra nods. “Her name’s Regina and yeah she helped a lot.”

Entrapta hums. “She sounds familiar.”

“She should.” Catra looks at her, amused. “She invited us to her cabin on Mount Etheria.”

Entrapta shakes her head.

“...she was the one Adora punched in the face to defend my honor.”

Nope, still not safe, Adora ducks her head back into Catra’s neck. There isn’t a reply from Entrapta who is still probably drawing a blank.

Catra groans like she doesn’t want to say what she comes up with next. “She wears pink on—“

“Oh! I remember now. Too bad we never got to test those boosters when we were there.”

Catra shrugs, the movement forces Adora to face the world again. “It still worked out for us.”

“I still can’t believe we got first place because one of our boosters broke down and exploded the guy right behind us.” Scorpia exclaims with a grin. “Oh yeah, Adora, you got it on video right?”

“Yeah, did I forget to send it to you? I’ll do it once I get service.”

Catra huffs. “Just lower the volume because you’ve got Glimmer screaming in the background like a lunatic.”

“It was exciting!”

Adora shows the video of the race to Scorpia because she feels bad about forgetting to send it earlier in the week. She hadn’t noticed before because she was so enthralled by the race at the time but, when the robot that’s trailing behind the one Entrapta built explodes due to their dismantled booster, Glimmer’s frantic screaming stands out dramatically. Adora and Scopia laugh and replays the video a couple more times until Glimmer sulks long enough for them to knock it off. When Adora looks up she notices that most of the group has gone back inside leaving the original best friend squad (the Catra version of course) and Scorpia but she leaves too when she notices Perfuma getting up as well.

“And then there were four.” Glimmer says.

Bow nods. “It’s been a while since we’ve done something with just the four of us. I know we see each other almost every day in the dorms but we’re always busy with class. We should catch up.”

“On what?”

Bow pauses for a moment and then asks, “what’re your guys’ plans for after graduation? I’m looking into graduate school I think. I’ll probably stay at BU but if I don’t get in I’ll try applying to something closer to home but I definitely want to stay. I just love it here, you know?”

Catra nods. “It grows on you.”

“So? What do you guys have planned?”

Adora hesitates. “I feel like I’m wasting my Criminal Justice degree but…” Her vision of the future seems blurry, she stumbles to find the words, but Catra is there squeezing her hand. She gives Adora a look that melts her core and allows her words to flow like syrup. “I want to be a basketball coach. At the collegiate level.”

Glimmer gapes. “Really? That’s awesome!”

Bow is beaming like the marshmallow he is. “Yeah! And I don’t think you’re wasting your degree, the experiences you’ve made at BU have brought you to this point. And now you have connections with the coaches so you can probably shadow them in the summer and get them to tell you about the process to becoming a coach.”

Adora’s smile is sheepish but she’s excited about the idea. “Already on top of it. My coach is a lot of help, she gave me some links to check out and offered to write a recommendation letter if I ever need it.” She asks, “what about you Glim?”

Glimmer looks ready to burst. “I got the internship I’ve been telling you guys about!” Bow, having already known, sits there grinning like a sap while Catra and Adora’s eyes go wide.

“No way.” Catra scoffs, “why didn’t you tell me? You’ve been calling me to complain about how you didn’t think you would get it for weeks but you can’t call me with the good news?”

Glimmer laughs. “I wanted to tell you in person and you were busy studying.”

“Again. You kept calling me—“

“Anyway...” Glimmer talks over her. “Have you decided to go to medical school or what?”

It’s Adora’s turn to take Catra’s hand. Catra keeps quiet for a while but her face is twisted up as she thinks about the conversations she and Adora have had about this. She eventually says, “I don’t know if I want to go to medical school but I am interested in getting into the medical field. Like, I can easily get into research and be happy studying things that impact carcinogenesis and being in a lab rat like Entrapta. I’m open to a lot, I just don’t want to be stuck in a desk for the rest of my life.”

“Sounds like a solid plan to me.” Adora says with a comforting smile.

Bow agrees, “we’ll figure it out. Besides, it’s not like we have to know the answers right away.”

“Scooby gang!” They look over to the house on the low hill to see Mermista yelling at them from the open screen door. Sea Hawk is behind her with his arms out like he expects her to collapse at any moment. “We’re about to play strip poker! Play or be square!”

Adora chokes on her drink. “They’re not serious are they?”

“No one is more serious than drunk Mermista.” Glimmer says as she eagerly gets up. “I’m down to play. What about you?” She asks her boyfriend.

Bow wipes some sweat off his forehead. He takes the hand Glimmer offers to help him stand. “I’m actually terrified to play but it’s so freaking hot out here and I just want to get inside and stand in front of the air conditioner for a while. What about you guys?”

Adora can hold her own in poker but she isn’t ready to go inside just yet. When Catra doesn’t make a move to get up Adora answers for the both of them. “We’ll catch up in a few.”

Glimmer does a weird thing with her eyebrows that’s probably supposed to be suggestive but it just makes them all break out into a silly laughing fit. Adora leans back on her hands and watches the couple walk up the low sand hill and back to the beach house that’s alive with tipsy college students—clearing a dangerous mix (it proves correct when they get a very rude note taped to the door from the neighbors the next morning).

“Are you okay?” Adora asks once they’re alone in the night with no one to keep them company except each other and the occupants in the sky always a constant reminder of their past. “You’ve been kind of weird. Well, not weird but quiet.”

Catra cracks a small smile. “Nothing can be weirder than _that_ night.”

 _That_ night being the first time they did anything besides chaste kisses and bashful looks with lingering touches without any intent. It’s a moment that Adora will always remember because 1) what a night and 2) why does the universe hate her? It started off well enough, Catra sent her a text telling her she finally had the place to herself and invited Adora over to watch a movie in her room. It was very _Netflix and Chill_ but they didn’t pick up on those vibes until somehow Adora had Catra pressed into the bed with her fingers teasing just beneath Catra’s loose shirt to just _feel_. Adora’s face burns when she recalls how the night ended just as quickly as it had started.

_Adora breaks away from the wet kiss. She dips her forehead into the pillow to catch her breath while Catra trails wet lingering kisses up, up, up her neck until she gets to her ear. She grabs Adora’s hand and pushes it further up her shirt until the tips of her fingers brush the bottom curve of her breast and—fuck—she’s not wearing a bra._

_“You can take this off if you want.”_

_Adora shudders because this is nothing like those dreams that cut off too soon—this is far better. “Really?” She whispers in awe because she can’t believe this is happening._

_Catra’s laugh comes out like a whine. “You’re such an idiot.” But then she guides Adora’s hands to the edge of her shirt and leaves them there to do the rest of the work._

_Adora wants to take the shirt off more than anything but she has to know the answer to something that has haunted her over the last couple months. She pulls back and sits up on her knees so she can look at Catra’s face when she asks:_

_“Has Glimmers seen them?”_

_Catra chokes on her breath. “W-what?”_

_“You know.” Adora motions to her own chest and asks again, “have you shown Glimmer?”_

_“No!” Catra looks a dangerous mix between mortified and pissed. “Why the hell would I? Why are you even asking me this?”_

_Adora’s confidence trickles down drop by drop. She uncrosses her arms and starts talking with her hands. “Because I thought...she said…”_

_“Spit it out!” Catra snaps, but she doesn’t look angry if anything she probably just wants this conversation to be over and done with._

_Adora talks faster. “A while ago she told me you were thinking of getting your nipples pierced and she said you were texting her to get some advice on it when you started second guessing yourself. Then she said she was going to ask you to show her...you know. To show her what you’re working with so she could tell you if it would look good or not so I’m just wondering if you’ve ever—“_

_“No. No!” Catra rubs her forehead with a groan. “I remember asking her for advice. But that’s it.”_

_Adora feels a weight being lifted off her chest (excuse the pun). She nods with a nervous smile now that she realizes she’s made things a little awkward but she couldn’t continue without knowing. “Okay. Good.”_

_“She didn’t ask.”_

_Adora frowns. “What?”_

_“Glimmer, she never asked if she could...look.” Catra lets out a weak laugh. “She was probably just messing with you because she knew you had feelings for me but weren’t acting on them. She’s such a troll.”_

_Adora makes a note to get revenge but for now she settles for hiding her face in her hands. “Of course she was.” She keeps her face tucked away until it starts to cool off, when she looks back down she sees Catra staring up at the ceiling. Adora trails her fingers back under Catra’s shirt and tries to stir things back in the right direction because she very much would like to see what’s under this shirt. “So, can I still—“_

_“Hell no.” Catra playfully slaps her hands away but she kind of means it so there’s nothing really playful about it. “Now I can’t get the thought of my best friend asking me for…” she shudders and doesn’t dare finish the sentence._

_Adora pouts. “But…”_

_Catra’s already pulling her laptop back over to them and logging back into the browser. “Whatever...let’s just finish the stupid movie and cuddle.”_

_Adora obliges but she’s in a sour mood for the rest of the night which is fine because Catra is kind of terrified of whatever crazy questions her girlfriend might come up with next so she keeps quiet too. When the movie is over Catra ends up driving Adora back to her dorm because they both need some space after tonight. And when Glimmer bumps into them in the hallway coming back from class Catra practically grunts out a greeting and races back to her car while Adora glares at Glimmer with disdain for a two days straight._

_Adora does eventually get to see Catra with her shirt off a few days after the event when Catra finally gets over the awkwardness. It takes even more time when Catra stops to talk about boundaries and things not to mention in bed but it’s sure as hell worth it._

Adora comes out of the memory with groan. “We promised to never speak of it.”

“Right. My bad.” Catra isn’t even trying to hide her smirk, it’s such a different reaction from her prior one on the matter. It eases Adora’s worries for just a second because soon it’s slipping off Catra’s face and the furrow is back in her brow. She’s even biting her lip, which she never does unless she’s thinking the worst.

“Talk to me.”

Catra sighs and then pulls out her phone. “Grades are already out and I’m kind of terrified to see what I got in biochem. The final was a lot, we had almost two hours to take it but there were so many questions. And I finished everything but I don’t know if…” she looks at her lap. “I’ve had my unofficial transcript pulled up so I could see my grade but I’m too chicken to do it.”

“Do you want me to check for you?” Adora asks.

Catra nods. “Yeah.”

Adora gently takes Catra’s phone, she admires the lock screen (a picture of them making goofy faces at a track mixer) before she puts in the password she is proud to have the honor of knowing. She scrolls down the unofficial transcript until she gets to the section of _Fall 2020_. She skims the four classes that Catra has completed and marvels at the listed grades.

“...you got an A.” Adora can’t hold it in anymore.

Catra lets out a rough laugh in disbelief. “No way. Are you serious?”

“See for yourself.” She hands the phone back and giggles when Catra’s eyes go wide. “Congratulations.” She hugs her despite the fact that they’re both gross and sweaty with sand stuck on their arms and legs.

Catra shakes her head. She can’t stop smiling. “Holy shit...I’m a freaking genius.”

Adora snorts at that. “Wouldn’t go that far.”

“I have to tell Regina. She’s gonna flip.” Catra suddenly remembers something. “Man.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I told Regina I’d do something for her if I got an A based on her study method.”

Adora tilts her head, intrigued. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. Something about burning and a book? It might have something to do with Sea Hawk though. I told her about how he’s always catching stuff on fire.” Catra shakes her head with a found smile. “You never know with her crazy ass.”

Adora laughs at that. “Yeah, but she’s a good person.” She can admit it now.

Catra hums. She’s looking out at the waves as they crash into the shore one after the other. “Yeah.”

Adora brushes their fingers together in the sand because it’s too hot to get any closer and sometimes she feels like she can’t exist if she’s not connected to Catra in some way. Adora looks around at the imprints their friends left in the sand; the only proof that they were actually there. And it’s funny and enlightening how it always ends up this way with her and Catra left alone. It’s almost like nothing has changed but she’d be foolish to believe that to be the truth.

Because the truth is, everything is different or, at least, it should be, right? They’re together now, in every way they’ve ever dreamed, but as they sit under the eyes of the endless sky and stars, watchful as ever, Adora feels like nothing has changed. No matter what, she still feels like those kids desperately clawing at each other trying to make sense of this cruel world. And she wants to see Catra for who she is now—wants to see herself for the woman she has become, the one who chases what she wants and not the girl who never allowed herself the simple pleasure—but she’s stuck in the past. Adora blinks in a moment of weakness and then time lapses for just a couple seconds but time works differently in the void and soon it feels like decades.

_It’s hot, maybe one of the hottest nights of the year, but they stick around behind the bleachers long after prom is over and the cars have cleared out leaving behind an empty lot. The stars keep them company long after Lonnie and Kyle get weeded out by the heat. She can see the waves of heat rolling just above the black-top concrete, sweat rolls down her sides—soaking the thin lining of her dress—she feels gross and sticky but she doesn’t want this night to end. It may have started with Tucker and his asshole friends, mediating between Cathy—the snide looks she sends her over Catra’s shoulder on the dance floor (like the ones she’d received in the halls in between classes)—but it’s all worth it because this night is going to end with Catra in her arms._

_And it probably doesn’t change anything, they’ll probably always be friends because it’s the way it’s always been, but this night has to stand for something. It has to mean something that Catra stays with her during the heatwave. Just like it meant something when Catra stayed out in the snow even when the bite of the cold leaked through their winter gloves when Adora begged her to help finish their snowman._

_But all good things must come to an end and eventually Adora breaks her resolve. They stumble in the night weary from the heat. It’s a miracle when they make it back to the house. Weaver stands in the doorway waiting for them with a lecture on her tongue—but Adora can’t recall what her face looks like, the memory of this moment is blocked off by a strange shadow until it jumps. She’s out of the murky water. Adora’s ears ring from the berating; it’s the only proof that it happened._

_Catra is locked up in the bathroom with the shower on full blast so Adora has the room to herself. She doesn’t want the night to end. Adora stands in front of her vanity mirror, her face is blotchy and stained red from the dry air and her hair is a mess of loose strand and frizz. The corsage, plastic and fake, perfect in the sense that Catra spent the weekend saving up to buy it and in the sense that it will never wilt over time. Adora handles it like a newborn, cradling it in her hand and carefully depositing it into her empty jewelry box until she can find a better place for it. Then she goes back to the mirror and just stares. The memory glitches, obviously more is supposed to take place, but Adora stays rooted and keeps staring. She doesn’t want the night to end, longs to hold onto this feeling of euphoria, but her time is up._

“You okay?” Catra is looking at her with her brows knitted tight. Adora has to blink as she comes back into time because it’s weird seeing Catra’s intelligent eyes which are very much different from the recklessness that once resided. “You kind of zoned out for a while.”

Adora shakes herself out of it and is slow to reply but Catra is patient just like she was that night. Eventually she lets a teasing smile slip through. “You’re the one who was trying to search for the meaning of life in the ocean.”

“Maybe some day I’ll find it.” Catra says simply and doesn’t rise to take the bait any further. The first one had just been out of tolerance per girlfriend duty. “Seriously. Are you okay?”

Adora squeezes Catra’s hand in reassurance. “Yeah sorry...I guess this heat is finally getting to me. Maybe I’m getting too old for this.”

Catra grins. “Yeah, we’re making a bad habit of letting ourselves fry in the heat. Maybe we should head back inside? I’m not gonna lie, I am very curious, and terrified, to see how bad Bow’s losing right now. You know how bad his poker face is.”

A couple years ago Adora would have been selfish, unknowingly so, keeping Catra tucked outside with her away from the world. Not because she wants to keep Catra to herself but because of the worry that she’ll never get another chance to have Catra in a vulnerable position like this again. And for a moment she almost slips back into the mirror before she realizes—she doesn’t have to. She doesn’t want to.

Adora realizes with a start; she doesn’t mind if this night ends. It’s okay for them to join their friends and play strip poker—it’s okay for them to step out of this little world they’ve built for themselves out on the beach in such a small amount of time—because there will be more nights like this. She doesn’t have to cling to the mirror. These intimate moments where Catra’s vulnerable and soft in a way she doesn’t dare show as intensely with their friends isn’t scarce, in fact, it’s abundant and rich and above all Adora could ever ask for.

“We should.” Adora knows she has that goofy smile because a blush leaks across the freckles on Catra’s nose. She kisses her just because she can and then pulls her by the hand leading them back up to the beach house. Adora can see their friends, rowdy as ever, gathered in the living room from the screen door. “Bow is obviously going to lose but you do know Entrapta is going to wipe the floor with everyone.”

Catra almost doubles over in laughter. “Shit! I almost forgot about her. Oh and poor Scorpia, she’s probably already down to that floral thong Perfuma bought her.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Damn, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone that. Just act surprised.”

Together they slip back into time, and sure enough Bow is sitting on the floor in his boxers (the ones with kittens on them), Glimmer teasing a finger up and down his core every chance she gets, meanwhile Scorpia has a blush that covers her far better than that loose t-shirt does. Adora sits on the couch, the waiting area for those who want in next round, with Catra dutifully in her lap as they watch the train wreck that is this game.

_In another city, in another time, the girl steps away from the mirror. She keeps moving forward but, for a few years, she holds the night dear and latches onto it when all seems lost. She refers to it on the worst day of her life, a couple days before her high school graduation, and she cuddles it during those lonely college nights. It’s a long process, leaving her with scars and jagged edges, but her healing finally begins when a girl she thought she lost walks into her Junior seminar, now a woman—wiser from their time apart and hopeful to mend what is left of their fractured friendship._

_It takes some more time, a lot of misunderstanding, and a lot of longing, but one day when the mirror girl-turned-woman gets a wakeup call from the ones she holds dear—and this weird chick who’s obsessed with the color pink and Wednesdays—she slowly lets go of the past. And while it was painful reminiscing on it years ago, in a couple more when she’s telling the story to a child who has her eyes and their mother’s smile she’ll feel nothing but peace even as they whine about it being too long of a story._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of doing a Superhero AU next for my AU series (aka I’ve been watching Arrow and Flash recently so I'm obsessed), I just want to work with something that has action where I can use Catra’s strategist big brain. Let me know if you guys have any ideas on it.
> 
> Also. Got the mirror girl concept from Rick and Morty Season 3 Episode 7, I think, where one of the Rick's are stuck in this state of bliss where he constantly relives the best moment of his life. He's happy, in an ignorance is bliss sort of way, but at the same time he's trapped.
> 
> Thanks for reading this story and sticking it out with me, it was awesome to write and I had a blast with each chapter (but the first one will always be my favorite/Part A - I). When I first started this story it was just supposed to be one chapter and then maybe another one from Catra’s POV but things changed in the best ways possible. Shout out to those Mean Girls fans! Regina said you can sit with us.


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